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funny myspace sayings 2010 06 09 p2


Death is nature’s way of saying, Your table’s ready.
Robin Williams Quotes

A quick word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said ”no”.
Woody Allen

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
Robert Bloch

Don’t question GOD, as he may say, if you are so eager for answers, then please come up.
Anonymous

I don’t have

funny myspace sayings 2010 06 09 p1


Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable.
Cher

Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after age 25.
Sen. Mary Anne Tebedo

One reason I don’t drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.
Nancy Astor

Drinking is an art, not a sport. You make it a sport, you’re dead in the water, you lose everything. It’ll kill you, I tell you.
Michael

funny sayings 2010 06 07 p5



Women truly are better than men. Otherwise, they'd be intolerable.


Democracy--rule by the people--sounds like a fine thing; we should try it sometime in America.



Power is always dangerous. Power attracts the worst and corrupts the best.


Our culture runs on coffee and gasoline, the first often tasting like the second.

The missionaries go forth to Christianize the savage

funny sayings 2010 06 07 p4




It is not an easy thing to inflate a dog.


New Yorkers like to boast that if you can survive in New York, you can survive anywhere. But if you can survive anywhere, why live in New York?





If the end does not justify the means - what can?

You can't study the darkness by flooding it with light.



Belief in the supernatural reflects a failure of the imagination.

funny sayings 2010 06 07 p3



Mexico: where life is cheap, death is rich, and the buzzards are never unhappy.


When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.

In the dog-eat-dog economy, the Doberman is boss.


Football is a game for trained apes. That, in fact, is what most of the players are--retarded gorillas wearing helmets and uniforms. The only thing more debased is the surrounding mob of d

funny sayings 2010 06 07 p2



An empty man is full of himself.

Who needs astrology? The wise man gets by on fortune cookies.



The tragedy of modern war is that the young men die fighting each other - instead of their real enemies back home in the capitals.


Anarchism is founded on the observation that since few men are wise enough to rule themselves, even fewer are wise enough to rule others.

Taxation:

funny sayings 2010 06 07 p1


A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.

Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell.


What's the difference between a whore and a congressman? A congressman makes more money.



My sole literary ambition is to write one good novel, then retire to my hut in the desert, assume the lotus position, compose my mind and senses, and sin

funny facebook sayings 2010 06 05 p11



It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.


I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.


I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.


funny facebook sayings 2010 06 05 p10



I failed to make the chess team because of my height.


I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.


Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.


Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.


On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying

funny facebook sayings 2010 06 05 p9



Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought-- particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.




The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5'7", it is impossible to get your congressman on the ph

funny facebook sayings 2010 06 05 p8




If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.


If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out o

funny facebook sayings 2010 06 05 p7



Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.


I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.


What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.


I have bad r
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