funnysayings.us » User » funnysayings » Commented

funnysayings | Commented

funny cartoon sayings 2010 06 01 p6


The word ‘politics’ is made up of the words ‘poli’ meaning ‘many’ in Latin, and ‘tics’ as in ‘bloodsucking creatures’
- Unknown

When all else fails. Follow instructions.



Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote c

funny cute sayings 2010 01 15

Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.

No guy is worth your tears & the ones who are won’t make you cry.

Grandparents, so easy to operate even a child can do it.

A bad day of fishing is still better than a good day at the office!

When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late.

Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.


A bi

funny sayings 2009 12 26 about women

Girls have an unfair advantage over men: if they can't get what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb.

What a strange thing man is; and what a stranger thing woman.

I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships.

The body of a young woman is God's greatest achievement. Of cour

funny sayings 2009 12 16

I don't know Laura Bush. But she seems to be calm, and she has a sparkle in her eye, which is good. But I don't know that she's ever had a real job - I mean, since she's been grown up.

I didn't have to work till I was three. But after that, I never stopped.

Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.

If hard wor

funny sayings 2009 11 16

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level.

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching
them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.


There is only one pretty child in the world... and every mother

funny sayings 2009 11 15

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.

Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life.

Your birthday is a special time to celebrate the gift of YOU to the world

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year.

funny sayings 2009 11 11

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.

Never have more children than you have car windows.

If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Most women set out to try

funny sayings 2009 11 09

Forgiveness is the sweetest revenge.

Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.

It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.

Perhaps the greatest social service that can be rendered by anybody to this country and to mankind is to bring up a family.

I never forget my wife’s birthday. It’s usually the day after she reminds me about it.


Impor

funny sayings 2009 11 07

Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that happen to a man.

As you get older three things happen.
The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two.

Middle Age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

You know you're getting old when you can pinch an inch on your forehead.

I’m 59 and people call me middle aged. How many 118 year old men do you k

funny sayings 2009 10 30

Women would rather be right than reasonable.

Woman was God's second mistake.

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster
than any other invention,
with the possible exceptions of handguns
and Tequilla.

Kill a man, and you are a murderer.
Kill millions of men, and you are a conqueror.
Kill everyone, and you are a god.

funny sayings 2009 10 25

Go to bed with itchy butt, wake up with stinky finger.

oral sex is a good way to make a woman silent.

It depends on your definition of asleep. They were not stretched out. They had their eyes closed. They were seated at their desks with their heads in a nodding position.


Man has his will, - but woman has her way.

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

funny sayings 2009 10 25

Go to bed with itchy butt, wake up with stinky finger.

oral sex is a good way to make a woman silent.

It depends on your definition of asleep. They were not stretched out. They had their eyes closed. They were seated at their desks with their heads in a nodding position.


Man has his will, - but woman has her way.

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
Valid XHTML 1.0 Transitional Valid CSS!