funny sayings

He's so dumb, he could throw himself on the ground and miss.

You've got champagne taste with a beer pocketbook.

He squeezes a quarter so tight the eagle screams.

A true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in "Going to town, be back directly."

Never to assume that the other car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

Only a southerner knows t

If you don’t stop I'll knock you in the head and tell God you died.

You could start an argument in an empty house.

He'd gripe with a ham under each arm.

That boy’s more slippery than snot on a glass doorknob.

They’re off like a herd of turtles.

A true Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."

Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full o' rocking

In a coon's age. (been a long time)

Like two peas in a pod. (act and think alike)

That takes the cake. (surprised)

Well, shut my mouth. (shocked and speechless)

DO-HICKY- substitute name. Like the terms whata-ma-call-it or thinga-ma-jig

HOLD YOUR HORSES- (be patient)

MUCH OBLIGED- thank you; hope to return the favor

Go to bed with the chickens. (in bed early)

That's about

All well-raised Southern girls know it's far easier to get forgiveness than permission.
-- Virginia Darmer

A whistling woman and a crowing hen never comes to a very good end. (be who you are)

Barking up the wrong tree. (you are wrong)

Don't bite off more than you can chew. (attempt what you can accomplish)

Every dog should have a few feas. (no one is perfect)

I do declare. (usuall