funny sayings

The following is a collection of funny women and men sayings which I enjoy a lot. Hope you find them funny.

• The difference between genius and stupidity is: genius has its limits.
• Everything ends this way in France - everything. Weddings, christenings, duels, funerals, diplomatic affairs - everything is a pretext for a good dinner.
• My mother never saw

Alcohol is not the answer, it just makes you forget the question.


I like being single. I’m always there when I need me.

Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade since it consists principally of dealing with men

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

It is good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.


Courage is being afraid but going on anyhow.


Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.


I don't have a fear of heights. I do, however, have a fear of falling from heights.

Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups.

Teamwork is essential – it

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.

We all basically go back to being children in the dentist's chair.

Those who think they know everything are very annoying to those of us who do.

After 40 years of hard work, a man retired with $9,000,000, which he had gained through courage, diligence, initiative, skill, de

Don't tell me how hard you work. Tell me how much you get done.


It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen or oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caug

“Okay, so God made man first, but doesn’t everyone make a rough draft before they make a masterpiece?”—Courtney Huston

A gentleman is a patient wolf.

Never call a man a fool. Borrow from him.

A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.

OUT TO LUNCH: IF NOT BACK BY FIVE, OUT FOR DINNER ALSO

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“I occasionally get birthday cards fr

Women and cats will do as they please. Men and dogs had better get used to it.

The trouble with nude dancing is that not everything stops when the music stops.

It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. they're in front of you in the supermarket express lane.


We need a president who's fluent in at least one language.

Most men make little use of their speech than to give evidence against their own understanding.

Cute little babies that fall out of swings - These are a few of my favourite things.

Someone told me that each equation I included in the book would halve the sales. --- Stephen Hawking - "A Brief History of Time"