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funny sayings 2012 01 19 about man_life_love_god

The following is a collection of funny man_life_love_god sayings which I enjoy a lot.
Hope you find them funny.



  • I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbor said ‘Are you going to help?’ I said, ‘No, Six should be enough.


  • Everybody lies, but it doesn’t matter since nobody listens.


  • To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first. And, wh

funny sayings 2011 11 03 about alcohol,man,superman,pray,God,toothpaste


A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.


BEER: It’s not just for breakfast anymore.


I’m not normally a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman!


When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle.
Then I realised that the Lord doesn’t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.


Adam and Eve had an ideal marria

funny sayings 2011 09 22 about life,man,woman,work,love



If life gives you lemons, stick them down your shirt and make your boobs look bigger.

The last time I took advice, it only worked because I changed it.

If a man tells a woman she’s beautiful she’ll overlook most of his other lies.


I don’t mind coming to work, but that eight hour wait to go home is a bitch!


How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you’re o

funny sayings 2011 05 24 about god,man,vegetarian,life,sex

Be good – and if you can't be good, be careful.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Married men live longer than single men, but they're a lot more willing to die.


You can only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.

The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.

Okay, so God made man first, but doesn't ev

funny sayings 2011 05 04 about honesty, car, stupid, man

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

Never buy a car you can't push.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

I swear to make no promises I cannot keep.

You have one choice.

If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid.

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.

If I had known how successful I was going to be, I wouldn't have wo

funny sayings about man,life 2011 03 17


Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good, firm push.


You can do more with a kind word and a gun than with just a kind word.

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you want.

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most, live the longest.


When life gives you lemons, squirt them in your enemy’s eyes!


Matrimony isn’t a word

funny sayings 2011 02 07 about man,god,Prozac


Man who walks thru airport turnstile sideways is going to Bangkok

If you think about it long enough, you’ll see that it’s obvious.

God made us brothers, but Prozac made us friends.

Why are they called buildings if they’ve already been built?

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

Be good; if you can’t be good, have fun.

A free society is one where it is safe to be

funny sayings about man , gun, death, smile, stupid

If oranges smell like chicken, why are tomatoes blue? Think about it!


The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it.


Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

Guns don't kill people… but they make it real easy.


He's not dead… he's electroencephalographically challenged.



============funny sayings about man , gun, death, smile, stu

funny sayings about Microsoft, future, alcohol, man

Microsoft is not the answer. Microsoft is the question. ‘No’ is the answer.

The future isn’t what it used to be.

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.


There’s too much blood in my alcohol system.


Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.

It’s people that give drinking a bad name.

======================funny sayings about M

funny man sayings 2010 11 22


“Okay, so God made man first, but doesn’t everyone make a rough draft before they make a masterpiece?”—Courtney Huston

A gentleman is a patient wolf.

Never call a man a fool. Borrow from him.

A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.

OUT TO LUNCH: IF NOT BACK BY FIVE, OUT FOR DINNER ALSO

=========funny man sayings 2010 11 22========

“I occasionally get birthday cards fr

funny friend sayings 2010 08 30

===========================funny friend sayings========

You're a 24-year old man who wants to keep his 66-year old girlfriend from leaving.

Do you C) slam the door on her hand,
hit her on the head with pillows,
twist her nose,
and force her to kiss a picture of her dead husband?

===========================funny friend sayings========

We can now add "Doctors start to fight" to

funny sayings 2009 11 27

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

I told my


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