funny sayings

I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.



The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone else he can blame it on.


Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?

I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.


There is only one immutable law in life - in a gentleman's toilet, incoming traffic has the right of way.


I once sent a dozen of my friends a telegram saying 'flee at once - all is discovered.' They all left town immediately.