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funny food sayings 2010 03 29 p5

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later you’re hungry again.

Recipe: A series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don’t own, to make a dish the dog wouldn’t eat.

No man is lonely eating spaghetti; it requires so much attention.


High-tech tomatoes. Mysterious milk. Supersquash. Are we supposed to eat this

funny food sayings 2010 03 29 p4

Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper.

Condensed milk is wonderful. I don’t see how they can get a cow to sit down on those little cans.


The bagel, an unsweetened doughnut with rigor mortis.


You’re slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.


Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good a

funny food sayings 2010 03 29 p3

Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.


Custard: A detestable substance produced by a malevolent conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook.


You can say this for ready-mixes - the next generation isn’t going to have any trouble making pies exactly like mother used to make.


Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carro

funny food sayings 2010 03 29 p2

Roast beef only come once a year, but pudding goes on and on for a whole year.

In general, mankind, since the improvement in cookery, eats twice as much as nature requires.

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead.


It would be nice if the Food and Drug Administration stopped issuing warnings about toxic substances and just gave me the names of the one

funny food sayings 2010 03 29 p1

Ever consider what dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul — chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we’re the greatest hunters on earth!

Sugar is a type of bodily fuel, yes, but your body runs about as well on it as a car would.

In Mexico we have a word for sushi: bait.


Cheese…milk’s leap toward immortality.


There is a l

funny sayings 2009 12 11

You can never have enough garlic. With enough garlic, you can eat The New York Times.



Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.



The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.

American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it.

Ask your child what he

funny sayings 2009 12 10


It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.


Many aspects of my method are based on my feeling and experience. For instance, I always give my bird a generous butter massage before I put it in the oven. Why? Because I think the chicken likes it—and, more important, *I* like to give it.


I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as

funny sayings 2009 12 09

We don't discuss anything anyway. Unless it appears on Patrick's official breakfast-time agenda. And that consists mainly of food. Minutes of the last meal and proposals for the next.

No man is lonely while eating spaghetti.

The real fact is that I could no longer stand their eternal cold mutton. (on why he left England for South Africa)



You know that really was quite the most appa

funny sayings 2009 12 08


The first law of dietetics seems to be: if it tastes good, it's bad for you.


Candy Corn is the only candy in the history of America that's never been advertised. And there's a reason. All of the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.



My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four; unless there are three other people.


Our lives are not in the lap of the go

funny sayings 2009 12 07


A bum came up to me saying "I haven't eaten in two days!" I said, "You should force yourself!"

A bum told me "I haven't tasted food all week." I told him "Don't worry, it still tastes the same!"



You can say this for ready-mixes - the next generation isn't going to have any trouble making pies exactly like mother used to make.


Come along inside... We'll see if tea and buns can m

funny sayings 2009 12 06

I love Thanksgiving turkey...it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.

Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.



I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.




The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fru

funny sayings 2009 12 05

When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.


Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry always gets the best of the argument.


I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.

HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime


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