funny sayings

Nothing in the world is friendlier than a wet dog.

Anybody with money to burn will easily find someone to tend the fire.

I was so shocked when I was born that I didn’t talk for a year and half!

The chance of a piece of bread falling the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.


I’d buy you a drink, but i’d be jealous of the straw.


What do you do w

Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window.





The problem with cats is that they get the same exact look whether they see a moth or an ax-murderer.



A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue.




Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wan

The cat has nine lives: three for playing, three for straying, three for staying.

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

The dog was created especially for children. He is the God of frolic.


Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. They have never forgotten this.


Time spent with cats is never wasted.

The cat lives alone, has no need of society, obeys only when she pleases, pretends to sleep that she may see more clearly, and scratches everything on which she can lay her paw.

Cats are connoisseurs of comfort.

The greatest pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself, too.

A house is not a home

A cat pent up becomes a lion.

Cats always know whether people like or dislike them. They do not always care enough to do anything about it.


The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened.


A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution.


A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal

Money will buy you a fine dog, but only love can make it wag its tail.

When my cats aren’t happy, I’m not happy. Not because I care about their mood but because I know they’re just sitting there thinking up ways to get even.

Cats don’t like change without their consent.


Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

In the beginning, God created man, b

Ever consider what dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul — chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we’re the greatest hunters on earth!

Cats have it all - admiration, an endless sleep, and company only when they want it.


One reason a dog can be such a comfort when you’re feeling blue is that he doesn’t try to find out why.

T

Always behave like a duck--keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil underneath.

He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.

If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.

If people turn to look at you on the street, you are not well dressed.