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Search results for 2010,children,work,god

funny sayings about work 2012 04 12



  • Accomplishing the impossible only means that the boss will add it to your regular duties.


  • A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.


  • Do not underestimate your abilities. That is your boss's job.


  • Employer: "I'm looking for a part time Girl-Friday. Are you interested?"
    Applicant: "No, thanks. I'm all girl seven days a week!"


  • If w

funny sayings 2012 01 19 about man_life_love_god

The following is a collection of funny man_life_love_god sayings which I enjoy a lot.
Hope you find them funny.



  • I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbor said ‘Are you going to help?’ I said, ‘No, Six should be enough.


  • Everybody lies, but it doesn’t matter since nobody listens.


  • To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first. And, wh

funny sayings 2011 11 03 about alcohol,man,superman,pray,God,toothpaste


A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.


BEER: It’s not just for breakfast anymore.


I’m not normally a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman!


When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle.
Then I realised that the Lord doesn’t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.


Adam and Eve had an ideal marria

funny sayings 2011 10 27 about bike,war,career,clock,work,death,fool


A cousin of mine who was a casualty surgeon in Manhattan tells me that he and his colleagues had a one-word nickname for bikers: Donors.

War does not determine who is right – only who is left.

No matter where you go – You’re always there! And you’re never there, because you’re always here!


What do sheep count when they can’t sleep?

When they first invented the clock, how did they

funny sayings 2011 10 13 about life,people,facebook,work,water



Reality is a nice place, but I wouldn’t want to live there.


People like you are the reason people like me take pills.

Facebook status: OUT TO LUNCH: IF NOT BACK BY FIVE, OUT FOR DINNER ALSO.

If the opposite of pro is con, then what must be the opposite of progress?


Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now!


Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

funny sayings 2011 09 22 about life,man,woman,work,love



If life gives you lemons, stick them down your shirt and make your boobs look bigger.

The last time I took advice, it only worked because I changed it.

If a man tells a woman she’s beautiful she’ll overlook most of his other lies.


I don’t mind coming to work, but that eight hour wait to go home is a bitch!


How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you’re o

funny sayings 2011 08 25 about boss,children,mankind,home,mouse


I became self employed and I still have a jerk for a boss.

Children in the dark make accidents, but accidents in the dark make children.

Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: “Mankind”. Basically, it’s made up of two separate words – “mank” and “ind”. What do these words mean ? It’s a mystery, and that’s why so is mankind.

Cleaning your house while

funny sayings 2011 07 21 about sex,kids,God,money,work


Sex is like air, it’s not important unless you aren’t getting any.


Remember, if you smoke after sex you’re doing it too fast.


Who are these kids and why are they calling me mom


In the beginning there was nothing. God said, “Let there be light!” And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better. — Ellen DeGeneres


Always take money from a

funny sayings 2011 06 24 about death,art,children,sex

Death is nature's way of telling you it’s time to slow down.


Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.


Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.

Adorable children are considered to be the general property of the human race. Rude children belong to their mothers.

Sex is like a game of bridge: If you don’t have a good partne

funny sayings 2011 06 20 about God,men,children,happiness



God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.

We all basically go back to being children in the dentist's chair.

Those who think they know everything are very annoying to those of us who do.

After 40 years of hard work, a man retired with $9,000,000, which he had gained through courage, diligence, initiative, skill, de

funny sayings 2011 05 24 about god,man,vegetarian,life,sex

Be good – and if you can't be good, be careful.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Married men live longer than single men, but they're a lot more willing to die.


You can only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.

The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.

Okay, so God made man first, but doesn't ev

funny sayings 2011 05 10 about children, happy,jogging,life

I still miss my ex. But my aim is getting better.

Adorable children are considered to be the general property of the human race. Rude children belong to their mothers

Everyone has the ability of making someone happy, some by entering the room, others by leaving it.

The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back.

My opinio


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