funnysayings.us » Search Results for 2009, work

Search results for 2009, work

funny sayings about work 2012 04 12



  • Accomplishing the impossible only means that the boss will add it to your regular duties.


  • A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.


  • Do not underestimate your abilities. That is your boss's job.


  • Employer: "I'm looking for a part time Girl-Friday. Are you interested?"
    Applicant: "No, thanks. I'm all girl seven days a week!"


  • If w

funny sayings 2011 10 27 about bike,war,career,clock,work,death,fool


A cousin of mine who was a casualty surgeon in Manhattan tells me that he and his colleagues had a one-word nickname for bikers: Donors.

War does not determine who is right – only who is left.

No matter where you go – You’re always there! And you’re never there, because you’re always here!


What do sheep count when they can’t sleep?

When they first invented the clock, how did they

funny sayings 2011 10 13 about life,people,facebook,work,water



Reality is a nice place, but I wouldn’t want to live there.


People like you are the reason people like me take pills.

Facebook status: OUT TO LUNCH: IF NOT BACK BY FIVE, OUT FOR DINNER ALSO.

If the opposite of pro is con, then what must be the opposite of progress?


Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now!


Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

funny sayings 2011 09 22 about life,man,woman,work,love



If life gives you lemons, stick them down your shirt and make your boobs look bigger.

The last time I took advice, it only worked because I changed it.

If a man tells a woman she’s beautiful she’ll overlook most of his other lies.


I don’t mind coming to work, but that eight hour wait to go home is a bitch!


How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you’re o

funny sayings 2011 07 21 about sex,kids,God,money,work


Sex is like air, it’s not important unless you aren’t getting any.


Remember, if you smoke after sex you’re doing it too fast.


Who are these kids and why are they calling me mom


In the beginning there was nothing. God said, “Let there be light!” And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better. — Ellen DeGeneres


Always take money from a

funny sayings 2011 02 22 about work,life,drink,idiot,lie,woman,men

Don't tell me how hard you work. Tell me how much you get done.


It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen or oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caug

funny sayings 2010 06 20



When I take action, I'm not going to fire a 2 million dollar missile at a 10 dollar empty tent and hit a camel in the butt. It's going to be decisive. -- (Newsweek, Sep 24, 2001)


Thank you for your e-mail. This Internet of yours is a wonderful invention. -- (email to Al Gore, mocking his famous Internet invention claim, quoted in Newsweek, Mar 2000)


Be careful about reading health

funny work sayings 2010 05 26 p14


Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.

In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse.

The human race's prospects of survival were considerably better when we were defenceless against tigers than they are today when we have become defenceless against ourselves.


The t

funny work sayings 2010 05 26 p13


The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.

It’s a biiiig mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a hurry.

If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves.

Freedom is that instant between when someone tells you to do something and when you decide how to respond.


funny work sayings 2010 05 26 p12



I didn’t have to work till I was three. But after that, I never stopped.

Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule. No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working on it for months. Now, go act bus

funny work sayings 2010 05 26 p11


Doing nothing is very hard to do…you never know when you’re finished.

All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.



I make a lot of money, but I don’t want to talk about that. I work very hard and I’m worth every cent.

People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. The trouble is they want a week’s pay for it.

God put me on this Earth to accomplis

funny work sayings 2010 05 26 p10

Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.


The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches.

The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you’re on the job.

A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the bone shar


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