http://www.funnysayings.us Your Source for Social News and Networking Wed, 01 Feb 2012 18:49:27 -0700 en http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2012-02-02-about-wine/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2012-02-02-about-wine/ Wed, 01 Feb 2012 18:49:27 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2012-02-02-about-wine/ Hope you find them funny.

• What is the definition of a good wine? It should start and end with a smile.



• What is better than to sit at the end of the day and drink wine with friends, or substitutes for friends!



• I made wine out of raisins so I wouldn't have to wait for it to age.



• Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.



• Men are like wine - some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.



• Wine is a turncoat; first a friend and then an enemy.



• Good wine is a good familiar creature if it be well used.



• Wine makes every meal an occasion, every table more elegant, every day more civilized.



• Appreciating old wine is like making love to a very old lady. It is possible. It can even be enjoyable. But it requires a bit of imagination.



• Where there is plenty of wine, sorrow and worry take wing.



• Beer is made by men, wine by God!



• If God forbade drinking, would he have made wine so good!



• If food is the body of good living, wine is its soul.



• The discovery of a wine is of greater moment than the discovery of a constellation. The universe is too full of stars.



• Wine improves with age. The older I get, the better I like it.



• I have enjoyed great health at a great age because everyday since I can remember I have consumed a bottle of wine except when I have not felt well. Then I have consumed two bottles.

End of funny sayings 2012 02 02 about wine.

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Tell me what do you think or send me your personal collection of funny wine sayings, so we can laugh together.


5 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2012-01-19-about-man-life-love-god-/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2012-01-19-about-man-life-love-god-/ Wed, 18 Jan 2012 22:38:50 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2012-01-19-about-man-life-love-god-/ Hope you find them funny.

• I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbor said ‘Are you going to help?' I said, ‘No, Six should be enough.



• Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.



• To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first. And, whatever you hit, call it the target.



• You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.



• Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?… He`s a mile away and you've got his shoes!



• Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.



• Much can be achieved with a smile. Admittedly, much additional can be achieved with a smile and a gun.



• I always wanted to have someone, someone to love. And now that you've come into my life - I've changed my mind.



• I once prayed to god for a bike, but quickly found out he didn't work that way…so I stole a bike and prayed for his forgiveness.



• Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe.



• Mirrors can't talk. Luckily for you, they can't laugh either!

End of funny sayings 2012 01 19 about man_life_love_god.

Do you find them amusing or entertaining?
Tell me what do you think or send me your personal collection of funny man_life_love_god sayings, so we can laugh together.


22 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2012-01-16-about-marriage-/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2012-01-16-about-marriage-/ Sun, 15 Jan 2012 23:29:18 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2012-01-16-about-marriage-/ The following is a collection of funny marriage sayings which I enjoy a lot.
Hope you find them funny.

• Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.



• I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.




• Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.




• One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again.



• Divorce: The past tense of marriage.




• Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.



• Never get married in college; it's hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you've already made one mistake.



• Men should keep their eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards.



• When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.



• Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.



• All marriages are happy. It's trying to live together afterwards that causes all the problems.



• I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.



• Three rings of marriage are the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.



• Shopping is better than sex. At least if you're not satisfied, you can exchange it for something you really like.

End of funny sayings 2012 01 16 about marriage.

Do you find them amusing or entertaining?
Tell me what do you think or send me your personal collection of funny marriage sayings, so we can laugh together.


19 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2012-01-05-about-computer-/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2012-01-05-about-computer-/ Wed, 04 Jan 2012 19:12:05 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2012-01-05-about-computer-/ The following is a collection of funny computer sayings which I enjoy a lot.
Hope you find them funny.

• If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0 or version Beta.



• A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.



• Like car accidents, most hardware problems are due to driver error.



• I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.



• Unix is user-friendly. It's just very selective about who its friends are



• You know it's love when you memorize her IP number to skip DNS overhead.



• A Windows user spends 1/3 of his life sleeping, 1/3 working, 1/3 waiting.



• COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key.



• UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity



• Squash one bug, you'll see ten new bugs popping.



• Treat your password like your toothbrush. Don't let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months.



• WinErr 547: LPT1 not found... Using backup... PENCIL & PAPER.



• It's hardware that makes a machine fast. It's software that makes a fast machine slow.



• Once I got this error on my Linux box: Error. Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.



• Programmers are tools for converting caffeine into code.

End of funny sayings 2012 01 05 about computer.

Do you find them amusing or entertaining?
Tell me what do you think or send me your personal collection of funny computer sayings, so we can laugh together.




22 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-12-29-about-law-and-lawyer/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-12-29-about-law-and-lawyer/ Wed, 28 Dec 2011 20:30:43 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-12-29-about-law-and-lawyer/ Hope you find them amusing and entertaining and funny~~

• There are three sorts of lawyers - able, unable and lamentable.




• Lawyers are men whom we hire to protect us from lawyers.




• Lawyers are always more ready to get a man into troubles than out of them.




• It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands.




• The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing.





• When two dogs fight for a bone, and the third runs off with it, there's a lawyer among the dogs.




• A Lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth.




• Lawyers should never marry other lawyers. This is called "inbreeding," from which comes idiot children and more lawyers.





• Baseball is almost the only orderly thing in a very unorderly world. If you get three strikes, even the best lawyer in the world can't get you off.




• Of course people are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers instead of their conscience be their guides.




• A lawyer with a briefcase can steal more than a thousand men with guns...

End of funny sayings 2011 12 29 about law and lawyer.


Happy New Year~~~ See you in 2012.

10 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-12-22-about-travel/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-12-22-about-travel/ Wed, 21 Dec 2011 19:03:01 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-12-22-about-travel/ Hope you find them funny.

• You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.



• The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.



• The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page.




• I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel's sake. The great affair is to move.



• A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it.




• To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.



• If you look like your passport photo, you're too ill to travel.




• There is nothing safer than flying - it's crashing that is dangerous.



• I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.



• If God had really intended men to fly, he'd make it easier to get to the airport.



• In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language.



• A man travels the world over in search of what he needs, and returns home to find it.

End of funny sayings 2011 12 22 about travel.

Do you find them amusing or entertaining?
Tell me what do you think or send me your personal collection of funny travel sayings, so we can laugh together.


15 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-for-facebook-status/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-for-facebook-status/ Wed, 14 Dec 2011 23:23:35 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-for-facebook-status/ Enjoy my collection of funny status and funny sayings for facebook.

• Did you know that 8 out of 3 people don't get fractions.



• I'm on a seafood diet: whenever I see food, I eat it!



• If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?



• 404 - No Funny facebook status found!



• If you want breakfast in bed, Then sleep in the kitchen!



• Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever



• I'm strong as a bull, brave as a lion, wise as an owl and good looking as... as... Well ME!



• I knew that something was wrong when my imaginary friends would not play with me.



• If you think you're alone and nobody notices you, try not paying your bills.



• I didn't say that it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you!



• How do you cut a sea in half? but using a sea-saw!



• I'm happy, don't ruin it by talking to me.



• People like you are the reason we have middle fingers.



• Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.

34 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-12-08-about-alcohol/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-12-08-about-alcohol/ Thu, 08 Dec 2011 01:11:37 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-12-08-about-alcohol/

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

Don't drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink.

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

A meal without wine is like a day without sunshine, except that on a day without sunshine you can still get drunk.

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck.

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

Alcohol is like love. The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you take the girl's clothes off.

alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

I only take a drink on two occasions - when I'm thirsty and when I'm not.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

29 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-12-01-about-kids-/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-12-01-about-kids-/ Wed, 30 Nov 2011 20:46:56 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-12-01-about-kids-/

Never underestimate a child's ability to get into more trouble.

I have just returned from a children's party. I'm one of the survivors.

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

To be a successful father there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years.

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today.

Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man.

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.

Anyone who thinks the art of conversation is dead ought to tell a child to go to bed.

What is a home without children? Quiet.

There's nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child.

End of funny sayings 2011 12 01 about kids. See you next week.

28 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-11-25-about-life-/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-11-25-about-life-/ Fri, 25 Nov 2011 00:03:24 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-11-25-about-life-/

You only live once, but if you work it right, once is enough.

Life isn't about how many breathes you take but about the moments that take your breathe away.

I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.

God, if I can't have what I want, let me want what I have.

No guy is worth your tears & the one who is won't make you cry.

One out of four people is a chinese. If your father, your mother and your brother are not Chinese, it must be you.

My feelings for you are like the sea. " Wild and romantic ? " "No, they make me sick."

There are many paths you take in life. Some you can choose, some are chosen for you.

Live each moment as if it were your last, for the next could be.

Never waste a moment, it may be the last with someone you love.

End of funny sayings 2011 11 25 about life ~~ Happy Thanksgiving~~~


33 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-11-17-about-peoplelifecomputerearthwomen/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-11-17-about-peoplelifecomputerearthwomen/ Wed, 16 Nov 2011 19:39:18 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-11-17-about-peoplelifecomputerearthwomen/ People have one thing in common, they're all different.

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather … Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.


Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

I want to walk through life instead of being dragged through it

There are two ways to rule a women and nobody knows them..


Always laugh when you can. It is cheapest medicine.

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

End of funny sayings 2011 11 17 about people,life,computer,earth,women, see you next week.

46 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-11-10-about-moneylifewomen-/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-11-10-about-moneylifewomen-/ Wed, 09 Nov 2011 23:21:24 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-11-10-about-moneylifewomen-/ When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.

Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.

Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.


A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.


If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.


If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.


Money can't buy happiness; it can, however, rent it.


It is better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money.



You can be young without money but you can't be old without it.

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.


There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one.


I'd like to live as a poor man with lots of money.

End of funny sayings 2011 11 10 about money,life,women. Hope it make you laugh.

Tomorrow will be 2011-11-11 , so many ones.

42 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-11-03-about-alcoholmansupermanpraygodtoothpaste-/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-11-03-about-alcoholmansupermanpraygodtoothpaste-/ Thu, 03 Nov 2011 01:54:14 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-11-03-about-alcoholmansupermanpraygodtoothpaste-/ A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.


BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.


I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman!


When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle.
Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.


Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage.
He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married,
and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked.


Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?

Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it's hard to get it back in.


I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.


The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back

If at first you don't succeed, quit; don't be a nut about success.


I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.


End of funny sayings 2011 11 03 about alcohol,man,superman,pray,God,toothpaste,success, see you next week, and it will be 2011-11-11. -,- The day of single man.



51 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-10-27-about-bikewarcareerclockworkdeathfool-/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-10-27-about-bikewarcareerclockworkdeathfool-/ Thu, 27 Oct 2011 00:41:06 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-10-27-about-bikewarcareerclockworkdeathfool-/ A cousin of mine who was a casualty surgeon in Manhattan tells me that he and his colleagues had a one-word nickname for bikers: Donors.

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

No matter where you go - You're always there! And you're never there, because you're always here!


What do sheep count when they can't sleep?

When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was to set it to?

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.


Never call a man a fool. Borrow from him.

Worry is a misuse of the imagination.


End of funny sayings 2011 10 27 about bike,war,career,clock,work,death,fool, see you next Thursday.

55 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-10-21-about-singlelifefriendalcoholmenwoman-/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-10-21-about-singlelifefriendalcoholmenwoman-/ Fri, 21 Oct 2011 01:38:53 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-10-21-about-singlelifefriendalcoholmenwoman-/
Alcohol is not the answer, it just makes you forget the question.


I like being single. I'm always there when I need me.

Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade since it consists principally of dealing with men

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

It is good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling


If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over… (Seen Upside Down On A Jeep)

Friends come and go, enemies accumulate.


It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

You can't say civilization isn't advancing: in every war, they kill you in a new way.


Use caution- 70% of all people were created by accidents.


end of funny sayings 2011 10 21 about single,life,friends,alcohol,men,woman~~

==========================================================
Someone said today(2011-01-21) is the end of the world.... Let's see it.

47 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-10-13-about-lifepeoplefacebookworkwater-/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-10-13-about-lifepeoplefacebookworkwater-/ Thu, 13 Oct 2011 01:31:03 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-10-13-about-lifepeoplefacebookworkwater-/
Reality is a nice place, but I wouldn't want to live there.


People like you are the reason people like me take pills.

Facebook status: OUT TO LUNCH: IF NOT BACK BY FIVE, OUT FOR DINNER ALSO.

If the opposite of pro is con, then what must be the opposite of progress?


Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now!


Never test the depth of the water with both feet.


I intend to live forever - so far, so good.


You can do more with a kind word and a gun than with just a kind word.


What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo? Big holes all over Australia.


end of funny sayings 2011 10 13 about life,people,facebook,work,water.
See you next week.
Bye~~

44 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-09-30-about-lifesleepworrycarteenagerfooldrinksex-/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-09-30-about-lifesleepworrycarteenagerfooldrinksex-/ Thu, 29 Sep 2011 19:05:12 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-09-30-about-lifesleepworrycarteenagerfooldrinksex-/ I drink to make other people interesting.

Some people are alive only because it is illegal to kill them.


The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.


Always be sincere ……even when you don't mean it

Sleep: a completely inadequate substitute for caffeine.

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.


I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.

Worry is like a rocking chair; it keeps you busy, but gets you nowhere.


Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.


When someone points skyward, it's the fool that looks at the finger.


Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.


People in cars cause accidents. Accidents in cars cause people.

end of funny sayings 2011 09 30 about life,sleep,worry,car,teenager,fool,drink,sex, and happy birthday to my son~~~

58 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-09-22-about-lifemanwomanworklove-/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-09-22-about-lifemanwomanworklove-/ Wed, 21 Sep 2011 18:42:15 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-09-22-about-lifemanwomanworklove-/
If life gives you lemons, stick them down your shirt and make your boobs look bigger.

The last time I took advice, it only worked because I changed it.

If a man tells a woman she's beautiful she'll overlook most of his other lies.


I don't mind coming to work, but that eight hour wait to go home is a bitch!


How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.


There's only one kind of love that lasts. That's unrequited love. It stays with you forever.


Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running child?


A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.


end of funny sayings 2011 09 22 about life,man,woman,work,love, and see you next week.




67 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-09-16-about-sadnesssuccesslifecanada/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-09-16-about-sadnesssuccesslifecanada/ Thu, 15 Sep 2011 19:09:54 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-09-16-about-sadnesssuccesslifecanada/ When I am sad, I sing, and then the world is sad with me.

If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.

I swear to make no promises I cannot keep.

If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny.

Acupuncture is pointless.

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Would a turtle without shell be called homeless or naked?

If blind people wear sunglasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?"

Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?


Evening news is where they start by saying "Good Evening" and proceed by telling you why it's not.



If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.


End of funny sayings 2011 09 16 about sadness,success,life,Canada, see you next week.

63 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-09-08-about-familylovecomputeralphabet-/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-09-08-about-familylovecomputeralphabet-/ Thu, 08 Sep 2011 00:19:22 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-09-08-about-familylovecomputeralphabet-/

The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common enemy.


It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off.

Love is a temporary insanity curable by marriage.

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my computer hard disk?

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.



end of funny sayings 2011 09 08 about family,love,computer,alphabet. See you next week.

73 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-09-01-about-doctorthinkingwifemoneylife-/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-09-01-about-doctorthinkingwifemoneylife-/ Thu, 01 Sep 2011 22:52:01 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-09-01-about-doctorthinkingwifemoneylife-/ After looking at the bill for my operation, I understand why the doctors wear masks in the operating room.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.


Software isn't released, it's allowed to escape.

If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw you into a panic.


In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker.


Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.


Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

If a man smiles all the time he's probably selling something that doesn't work.

It's not reality that's important, but how you perceive things.

I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.


I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

End of funny sayings 2011 09 01 about doctor,thinking,wife,money,life, see you next week.




79 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-08-25-about-bosschildrenmankindhomemouse-/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-08-25-about-bosschildrenmankindhomemouse-/ Thu, 25 Aug 2011 00:25:34 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-08-25-about-bosschildrenmankindhomemouse-/ I became self employed and I still have a jerk for a boss.

Children in the dark make accidents, but accidents in the dark make children.

Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean ? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.

I couldn't fix your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Home is a place where teenagers go to refuel.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

This will be a memorable month - no matter how hard you try to forget.

Nothing is illegal if one hundred businessmen decide to do it.

If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.



end of funny sayings 2011 08 25 about boss,children,mankind,home,mouse, see you guys next week.




76 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-08-18-about-lifeliesexpeopel-/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-08-18-about-lifeliesexpeopel-/ Wed, 17 Aug 2011 22:32:23 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-08-18-about-lifeliesexpeopel-/ Everyone leaves the world a little better - some by leaving.

A perfect method of adding drama to life is to wait until the deadline looms large.

Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

Life is an open door. It can be closed at any time, so don't complain about the draught.

My mind not only wanders; sometimes it leaves completely!!!

What should you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?

The truth is what is; what should be is a dirty lie.

Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you can get between the right man and the right woman.

Half the people you know are below average.

Why does mineral water that ‘has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a ‘use by' date?

Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.

The one time a windshield wiper will work properly is when it's holding a parking ticket.


End of funny sayings 2011 08 18 about life,lie,sex,peopel, see you next week.



88 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-08-10-about-dogmoneyanimalpeople-/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-08-10-about-dogmoneyanimalpeople-/ Tue, 09 Aug 2011 19:43:55 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-08-10-about-dogmoneyanimalpeople-/ Nothing in the world is friendlier than a wet dog.

Anybody with money to burn will easily find someone to tend the fire.

I was so shocked when I was born that I didn't talk for a year and half!

The chance of a piece of bread falling the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.


I'd buy you a drink, but i'd be jealous of the straw.


What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?


I come from family where gravy is considered a beverage. - Erma Bombeck


If you are willing to admit faults, you have one less fault to admit.

There are two types of people - those who divide people into two types, and those who don't.


If there's anything I can't stand, it's intolerance.


While having never invented a sin, I'm trying to perfect several.


I wrote my friend a letter with a highlighting pen, but he could not read it, he thought I was trying to show him certain parts of a piece of paper.


If you think something small can't make a difference, try going to sleep with a mosquito in the room.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.



end of funny sayings 2011 08 10 about dog,money,animal,people, see you next week.


86 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-07-28-about-friendsuccessskydivesmilemistake-/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-07-28-about-friendsuccessskydivesmilemistake-/ Thu, 28 Jul 2011 01:12:38 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-07-28-about-friendsuccessskydivesmilemistake-/ When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun.'


The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.


The road to success is usually under construction.

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin


You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.


Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.


Carpenter's rule: cut to fit; beat into place.

Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.


Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.



If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost.


end of funny sayings 2011 07 28 about friend,success,skydive,smile,mistake, see you next week. :))

92 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-07-21-about-sexkidsgodmoneywork/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-07-21-about-sexkidsgodmoneywork/ Wed, 20 Jul 2011 18:45:54 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-07-21-about-sexkidsgodmoneywork/ Sex is like air, it's not important unless you aren't getting any.


Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.


Who are these kids and why are they calling me mom


In the beginning there was nothing. God said, "Let there be light!" And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better. - Ellen DeGeneres


Always take money from a Pessimist…They never expect it back…


Heart Attacks: God's Revenge for Eating His Animal Friends.


All work and no play, will make you a manager.


If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?


My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.

Anything you lose automatically doubles in value.


end of funny sayings 2011 07 21 about sex,kids,God,money,work. See you next week.

78 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-07-13-about-grandmotherstorechoiceturtlethinkingfather-/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-07-13-about-grandmotherstorechoiceturtlethinkingfather-/ Wed, 13 Jul 2011 03:04:26 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-07-13-about-grandmotherstorechoiceturtlethinkingfather-/

You never truly understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.


People who ask, "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there, buddy?


Clones are people two.


I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.



If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?


Thinking is the last thing on my mind!



A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be.


Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening.


end of funny sayings 2011 07 13 about grandmother,store,choice,turtle,thinking,father, see you next week.


72 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-07-04-about-menjewelrymarriagecourageteamworkapple-/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-07-04-about-menjewelrymarriagecourageteamworkapple-/ Mon, 04 Jul 2011 05:23:18 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-07-04-about-menjewelrymarriagecourageteamworkapple-/ I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.


Courage is being afraid but going on anyhow.


Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.


I don't have a fear of heights. I do, however, have a fear of falling from heights.

Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups.

Teamwork is essential - it allows you to blame someone else.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

School is like a lollipop. It sucks until it is gone.


An apple every eight hours will keep three doctors away.



end of funny sayings 2011 07 04 about men,jewelry,marriage,courage,teamwork,apple, see you next week.



73 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-06-24-about-deathartchildrensex-/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-06-24-about-deathartchildrensex-/ Thu, 23 Jun 2011 18:15:39 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-06-24-about-deathartchildrensex-/

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.


Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.

Adorable children are considered to be the general property of the human race. Rude children belong to their mothers.

Sex is like a game of bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.


When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, mmmmmmm, boy.


If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.


86 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-06-20-about-godmenchildrenhappiness/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-06-20-about-godmenchildrenhappiness/ Sun, 19 Jun 2011 22:22:30 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-06-20-about-godmenchildrenhappiness/
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.

We all basically go back to being children in the dentist's chair.

Those who think they know everything are very annoying to those of us who do.

After 40 years of hard work, a man retired with $9,000,000, which he had gained through courage, diligence, initiative, skill, devotion to duty, thrift, efficiency, shrewd investment, and the death of an uncle who left him $8,999,999.50.


Don't worry too much about what people think, because they seldom do.

You have one choice.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, "mommy, why does the girl wear white?" his mom replies, "the bride is in white because she's happy and this is the happiest day of her life." the boys thinks about this, and then says, "well then, why is the boy wearing black?…"

Old soldiers never die. Young ones do.

Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.



end of funny sayings 2011 06 20 about God,men,children,happiness. See you next week.



67 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-06-09-about-helldoglifelovesexearth-/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-06-09-about-helldoglifelovesexearth-/ Wed, 08 Jun 2011 19:42:20 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-06-09-about-helldoglifelovesexearth-/
Weather forecast for tonight: Dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.

I won't hesitate for a moment to avoid answering!

The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.


When I was little, my grandfather used to make me stand in a closet for five minutes without moving. He said it was elevator practice.

I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

Keep breathing. You never know when life just might be worth living again.

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.

If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Getting screwed while everybody else is getting laid.


Is a halfback more valuable than a quarterback?

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

end of funny sayings 2011 06 09 about hell,dog,life,love,sex,earth.

See you guys next week.



70 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-06-01-about-fishingidiotprayerhell-/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-06-01-about-fishingidiotprayerhell-/ Tue, 31 May 2011 20:45:03 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-06-01-about-fishingidiotprayerhell-/ Happy Children's Day

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

If you are going through hell, keep going.

An apple every eight hours will keep three doctors away.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

Microsoft is not the answer. Microsoft is the question. ‘No' is the answer.

Successful people are very lucky. Just ask any failure.

He's too nervous to kill himself. He wears his seat belt in a drive-in movie


If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.

I won't hesitate for a moment to avoid answering!

end of funny sayings 2011 06 01 about fishing,idiot,prayer,hell

Happy Children's Day, again.


38 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-05-24-about-godmanvegetarianlifesex-/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-05-24-about-godmanvegetarianlifesex-/ Mon, 23 May 2011 20:37:45 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-05-24-about-godmanvegetarianlifesex-/
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Married men live longer than single men, but they're a lot more willing to die.


You can only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.

The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.

Okay, so God made man first, but doesn't everyone make a rough draft before they make a masterpiece?

Sex on tv can't hurt unless you fall off.

If the early bird catches the worm, what about the worm?

What do you say if you're talking to God, and he sneezes?

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe


end of funny sayings 2011 05 24 about god,man,vegetarian,life,sex.

See you guys next week.

53 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-05-16-about-swimmingwifemanaginghateworrysuccesspandamathgeneralizations-/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-05-16-about-swimmingwifemanaginghateworrysuccesspandamathgeneralizations-/ Sun, 15 May 2011 19:13:41 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-05-16-about-swimmingwifemanaginghateworrysuccesspandamathgeneralizations-/ If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?


If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.


If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost.

All generalizations are dangerous, even this one.


The secret of managing is to keep the guys who hate you away from the guys who are undecided.


Worry is like a rocking chair; it keeps you busy, but gets you nowhere.


when I was born, I was so surprised I couldn't speak for a year and a half

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Graduation speeches were invented largely in the belief that college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then give up. There's no use in being a damn fool about it.


A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems

end of funny sayings 2011 05 16 about swimming,wife,managing,hate,worry,success,panda,math,generalizations.


56 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-05-10-about-children-happyjogginglife/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-05-10-about-children-happyjogginglife/ Mon, 09 May 2011 19:14:32 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-05-10-about-children-happyjogginglife/
Adorable children are considered to be the general property of the human race. Rude children belong to their mothers

Everyone has the ability of making someone happy, some by entering the room, others by leaving it.

The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back.

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.

If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.

Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their worth.

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.


end of funny sayings 2011 05 10 about children, happy,jogging,life.


40 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-05-04-about-honesty-car-stupid-man/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-05-04-about-honesty-car-stupid-man/ Tue, 03 May 2011 23:37:41 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-05-04-about-honesty-car-stupid-man/
Never buy a car you can't push.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

I swear to make no promises I cannot keep.

You have one choice.

If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid.

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.

If I had known how successful I was going to be, I wouldn't have worked so hard when I was young!

This sentence contradicts itself -- no actually it doesn't.

Guys: No Shirt, No Service Gals: No Shirt, No Charge


==========end of funny sayings 2011 05 04 about honesty, car, stupid, man.
see you next day!!

48 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-04-13-about-dance-success-problem-smoke-sex-stupid/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-04-13-about-dance-success-problem-smoke-sex-stupid/ Tue, 12 Apr 2011 19:23:23 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-04-13-about-dance-success-problem-smoke-sex-stupid/
If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.

If blind people wear sunglasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs.

You don't stand alone. I also stand alone!

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.

The sex was so good even the neighbors had a cigarette.

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

Most people don't act stupid -- it's the real thing.

The best things in life aren't things.

The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.


end of funny sayings 2011 04 13 about dance, success, problem ,smoke, sex, stupid
.

56 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-03-30-about-god-alcoholkid/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-03-30-about-god-alcoholkid/ Tue, 29 Mar 2011 20:13:12 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-03-30-about-god-alcoholkid/
Raising a kid is part joy and part guerrilla warfare.

The following statement is true. The previous statement is false.

You can't have everything….where would you put it?

You never truly understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.

I believe in rules. Sure I do. If there weren't any rules, how could you break them?

God must love stupid people, he made so many.

When I am sad, I sing, and then the world is sad with me.

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

I'm an atheist, thank God.

Don't knock on death's door, ring the doorbell and run- he hates that.


Reality is a hallucination brought on by lack of alcohol.




end of funny sayings 2011 03 30 about god, alcohol,kid.
see you next week..

52 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-about-manlife-2011-03-17/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-about-manlife-2011-03-17/ Wed, 16 Mar 2011 19:52:19 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-about-manlife-2011-03-17/ Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good, firm push.


You can do more with a kind word and a gun than with just a kind word.

Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most, live the longest.


When life gives you lemons, squirt them in your enemy's eyes!


Matrimony isn't a word, it's a sentence.

Drugs cause amnesia and other things I can't remember.


If everything seems to be going right, you obviously don't know what the hell is going on.

If you're not confused, you don't have all the facts

Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.

Man who walks thru airport turnstile sideways is going to Bangkok

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.

The problem with the future is it turns into the present.

end of < funny sayings about man,life 2011 03 17 >. see you next week.


46 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-02-28-about-people-car-spring-mousefriend-/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-02-28-about-people-car-spring-mousefriend-/ Sun, 27 Feb 2011 18:52:08 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-02-28-about-people-car-spring-mousefriend-/
People in cars cause accidents. Accidents in cars cause people.

After all is said and done, more is said than done.

Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush

Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.

Better late than really late.

====funny sayings 2011 02 28 about people, car, spring, mouse,friend==


The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

A good friend would come bail you out of jail. A great friend would be sitting in the jail cell with you saying, "That waS fun!".

This would be really funny if it wasn't happening to me.



77 Vote(s) ]]>