http://www.funnysayings.us Your Source for Social News and Networking Mon, 31 May 2010 18:45:40 -0700 en http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-cartoon-sayings-2010-06-01-p6/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-cartoon-sayings-2010-06-01-p6/ Mon, 31 May 2010 18:45:40 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-cartoon-sayings-2010-06-01-p6/ The word ‘politics' is made up of the words ‘poli' meaning ‘many' in Latin, and ‘tics' as in ‘bloodsucking creatures'
- Unknown

When all else fails. Follow instructions.



Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.


I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

In Los Angeles they don't throw out their garbage away. They make it into television shows.


Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills . . . Making the last car payment.

Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.


1 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-cute-sayings-2010-01-15/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-cute-sayings-2010-01-15/ Thu, 14 Jan 2010 17:55:53 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-cute-sayings-2010-01-15/
No guy is worth your tears & the ones who are won't make you cry.

Grandparents, so easy to operate even a child can do it.

A bad day of fishing is still better than a good day at the office!

When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late.

Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.


A bird in the hand makes blowing the nose difficult.

You're as cute as a button!

I smile because most often I don't know what the heck is going on?

Computerized dating can save a lot of guesswork - but so can a bikini.

Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debating.

A 3-year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.


Friends are like bras, they're close to your heart and there for support.

The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

Oh crap! You're going to try and cheer me up, aren't you?



4 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2009-12-26-about-women/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2009-12-26-about-women/ Sun, 13 Dec 2009 00:50:30 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2009-12-26-about-women/
What a strange thing man is; and what a stranger thing woman.

I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships.

The body of a young woman is God's greatest achievement. Of course He could have made it to last longer, but you can't have everything. -- (The Gingerbread Lady, 1970)

I wonder why it is, that young men are always cautioned against bad girls. Anyone can handle a bad girl. It's the good girls men should be warned against.

Girls are always running through my mind. They don't dare walk.

2 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2009-12-16/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2009-12-16/ Sun, 13 Dec 2009 00:19:17 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2009-12-16/
I didn't have to work till I was three. But after that, I never stopped.

Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.

If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.

People are still willing to do an honest day's work. The trouble is they want a week's pay for it.

3 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2009-11-16/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2009-11-16/ Sun, 15 Nov 2009 18:13:17 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2009-11-16/
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level.

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching
them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.


There is only one pretty child in the world... and every mother has it.

Children will soon forget your presents. They will always remember your presence.

Anyone who says "Easy as taking candy from a baby"
has never tried it.

Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your kids.

2 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2009-11-15/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2009-11-15/ Sat, 14 Nov 2009 18:59:54 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2009-11-15/
Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese.

Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life.

Your birthday is a special time to celebrate the gift of YOU to the world

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm five I'll be 64.


When I have a birthday I take the day off. But when my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off.

Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.

2 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2009-11-11/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2009-11-11/ Tue, 10 Nov 2009 16:02:31 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2009-11-11/
Never have more children than you have car windows.

If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Most women set out to try to change a man, and when they have changed him they do not like him.

I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people.

2 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2009-11-09/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2009-11-09/ Sun, 08 Nov 2009 19:25:59 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2009-11-09/
Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.

It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.

Perhaps the greatest social service that can be rendered by anybody to this country and to mankind is to bring up a family.

I never forget my wife's birthday. It's usually the day after she reminds me about it.


Important families are like potatoes. The best parts are underground.

A happy family is but an earlier heaven.

Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.


2 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2009-11-07/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2009-11-07/ Fri, 06 Nov 2009 17:23:10 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2009-11-07/
As you get older three things happen.
The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two.

Middle Age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

You know you're getting old when you can pinch an inch on your forehead.

I'm 59 and people call me middle aged. How many 118 year old men do you know?

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly and lie about your age.



2 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2009-10-30/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2009-10-30/ Thu, 29 Oct 2009 18:19:33 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2009-10-30/
Woman was God's second mistake.

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster
than any other invention,
with the possible exceptions of handguns
and Tequilla.

Kill a man, and you are a murderer.
Kill millions of men, and you are a conqueror.
Kill everyone, and you are a god.

5 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2009-10-25/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2009-10-25/ Wed, 28 Oct 2009 07:12:24 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2009-10-25/
oral sex is a good way to make a woman silent.

It depends on your definition of asleep. They were not stretched out. They had their eyes closed. They were seated at their desks with their heads in a nodding position.


Man has his will, - but woman has her way.

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

You can lead a boy to college but you can't make him think.





1 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2009-10-25/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2009-10-25/ Wed, 28 Oct 2009 07:12:24 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2009-10-25/
oral sex is a good way to make a woman silent.

It depends on your definition of asleep. They were not stretched out. They had their eyes closed. They were seated at their desks with their heads in a nodding position.


Man has his will, - but woman has her way.

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

You can lead a boy to college but you can't make him think.





1 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2009-10-25/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2009-10-25/ Wed, 28 Oct 2009 07:12:24 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2009-10-25/
oral sex is a good way to make a woman silent.

It depends on your definition of asleep. They were not stretched out. They had their eyes closed. They were seated at their desks with their heads in a nodding position.


Man has his will, - but woman has her way.

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

You can lead a boy to college but you can't make him think.





1 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2009-10-25/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2009-10-25/ Wed, 28 Oct 2009 07:12:24 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2009-10-25/
oral sex is a good way to make a woman silent.

It depends on your definition of asleep. They were not stretched out. They had their eyes closed. They were seated at their desks with their heads in a nodding position.


Man has his will, - but woman has her way.

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

You can lead a boy to college but you can't make him think.





1 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2009-10-08-part-iii/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2009-10-08-part-iii/ Thu, 08 Oct 2009 00:21:28 -0700 funnysayings funny sayings http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2009-10-08-part-iii/

I speak two languages, Body and English.


Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.


Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.


"A line is a dot that went for a walk. "

If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?

1 Vote(s) ]]>