http://www.funnysayings.us Your Source for Social News and Networking Wed, 01 Feb 2012 18:40:21 MST en http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2012-02-02-about-wine/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2012-02-02-about-wine/ Wed, 01 Feb 2012 18:40:21 MST http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2012-02-02-about-wine/ Hope you find them funny.

• What is the definition of a good wine? It should start and end with a smile.



• What is better than to sit at the end of the day and drink wine with friends, or substitutes for friends!



• I made wine out of raisins so I wouldn't have to wait for it to age.




2 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2012-01-19-about-man-life-love-god-/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2012-01-19-about-man-life-love-god-/ Wed, 18 Jan 2012 22:38:03 MST http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2012-01-19-about-man-life-love-god-/ Hope you find them funny.





• I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbor said ‘Are you going to help?' I said, ‘No, Six should be enough.



• Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.



• To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first. And, wh
  
  21 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2012-01-16-about-marriage-/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2012-01-16-about-marriage-/ Sun, 15 Jan 2012 23:28:13 MST http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2012-01-16-about-marriage-/ The following is a collection of funny marriage sayings which I enjoy a lot.
  Hope you find them funny.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  • Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.
  
  
  
  • I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
  
  
  
  
  • Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who c
    
    15 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2012-01-05-about-computer-/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2012-01-05-about-computer-/ Wed, 04 Jan 2012 19:10:07 MST http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2012-01-05-about-computer-/ The following is a collection of funny computer sayings which I enjoy a lot.
    Hope you find them funny.
    
    
    
    
    
    
    • If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0 or version Beta.
    
    
    
    • A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
    
    
    
    • Like car accidents, most hardware problems are due to driver error.
    
    
    
    • I would love to change th
      
      19 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-12-29-about-law-and-lawyer/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-12-29-about-law-and-lawyer/ Wed, 28 Dec 2011 20:28:03 MST http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-12-29-about-law-and-lawyer/ Hope you find them amusing and entertaining and funny~~
      
      
      
      
      
      • There are three sorts of lawyers - able, unable and lamentable.
      
      
      
      
      • Lawyers are men whom we hire to protect us from lawyers.
      
      
      
      
      • Lawyers are always more ready to get a man into troubles than out of them.
      
      
      
      
      • 
        
        10 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-12-22-about-travel/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-12-22-about-travel/ Wed, 21 Dec 2011 19:00:59 MST http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-12-22-about-travel/ Hope you find them funny.
        
        
        
        
        • You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
        
        
        
        • The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.
        
        
        
        • The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page.
        
        
        
        15 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-for-facebook-status/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-for-facebook-status/ Wed, 14 Dec 2011 23:21:59 MST http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-for-facebook-status/ Enjoy my collection of funny status and funny sayings for facebook.
        
        
        
        
        • Did you know that 8 out of 3 people don't get fractions.
        
        
        
        • I'm on a seafood diet: whenever I see food, I eat it!
        
        
        
        • If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
          
          34 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-12-08-about-alcohol/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-12-08-about-alcohol/ Thu, 08 Dec 2011 01:10:08 MST http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-12-08-about-alcohol/
          
        • When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
        
        
        
        • Don't drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink.
        
        
        
        
        • You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
        
        
        
        
        • A meal without wine is like a day without sunshine, except that on a day without sunshine you can still get drunk.
        
        
        
        • Instead of warning pregnant wom
        
        
        28 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-12-01-about-kids-/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-12-01-about-kids-/ Wed, 30 Nov 2011 20:46:04 MST http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-12-01-about-kids-/
        
        • Never underestimate a child's ability to get into more trouble.
        
        
        
        • I have just returned from a children's party. I'm one of the survivors.
        
        
        
        • Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
        
        
        
        • To be a successful father there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years.
        
        
        
        • We worry about what a child
        
        
        28 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-11-25-about-life-/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-11-25-about-life-/ Fri, 25 Nov 2011 00:02:39 MST http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-11-25-about-life-/
        
      • You only live once, but if you work it right, once is enough.
      
      
      
      • Life isn't about how many breathes you take but about the moments that take your breathe away.
      
      
      
      • I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
      
      
      
      • God, if I can't have what I want, let me want what I have.
      
      
      
      • No guy is worth your tears & the one who is won't make you cry.
      
      
      33 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-11-17-about-peoplelifecomputerearthwomen/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-11-17-about-peoplelifecomputerearthwomen/ Wed, 16 Nov 2011 19:37:50 MST http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-11-17-about-peoplelifecomputerearthwomen/ People have one thing in common, they're all different.
      
      I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather … Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
      
      Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
      
      The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
      
      Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, w
      
      42 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-11-10-about-moneylifewomen-/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-11-10-about-moneylifewomen-/ Wed, 09 Nov 2011 23:20:37 MST http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-11-10-about-moneylifewomen-/ When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.
      
      Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.
      
      Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.
      
      
      A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it beg
      
      41 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-11-03-about-alcoholmansupermanpraygodtoothpaste-/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-11-03-about-alcoholmansupermanpraygodtoothpaste-/ Thu, 03 Nov 2011 01:53:08 MST http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-11-03-about-alcoholmansupermanpraygodtoothpaste-/ A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
      
      
      BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
      
      
      I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman!
      
      
      When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle.
      Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
      
      
      Adam and Eve had an ideal marria
      
      51 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-10-27-about-bikewarcareerclockworkdeathfool-/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-10-27-about-bikewarcareerclockworkdeathfool-/ Thu, 27 Oct 2011 00:38:37 MST http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-10-27-about-bikewarcareerclockworkdeathfool-/ A cousin of mine who was a casualty surgeon in Manhattan tells me that he and his colleagues had a one-word nickname for bikers: Donors.
      
      War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
      
      No matter where you go - You're always there! And you're never there, because you're always here!
      
      
      What do sheep count when they can't sleep?
      
      When they first invented the clock, how did they
      
      55 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-10-21-about-singlelifefriendalcoholmenwoman-/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-10-21-about-singlelifefriendalcoholmenwoman-/ Fri, 21 Oct 2011 01:35:27 MST http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-10-21-about-singlelifefriendalcoholmenwoman-/
      Alcohol is not the answer, it just makes you forget the question.
      
      
      I like being single. I'm always there when I need me.
      
      Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade since it consists principally of dealing with men
      
      If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
      
      It is good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling
      
      
      
      47 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-10-13-about-lifepeoplefacebookworkwater-/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-10-13-about-lifepeoplefacebookworkwater-/ Thu, 13 Oct 2011 01:29:57 MST http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-10-13-about-lifepeoplefacebookworkwater-/
      Reality is a nice place, but I wouldn't want to live there.
      
      
      People like you are the reason people like me take pills.
      
      Facebook status: OUT TO LUNCH: IF NOT BACK BY FIVE, OUT FOR DINNER ALSO.
      
      If the opposite of pro is con, then what must be the opposite of progress?
      
      
      Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now!
      
      
      Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
      
      
      44 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-09-30-about-lifesleepworrycarteenagerfooldrinksex-/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-09-30-about-lifesleepworrycarteenagerfooldrinksex-/ Thu, 29 Sep 2011 19:03:43 MST http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-09-30-about-lifesleepworrycarteenagerfooldrinksex-/ I drink to make other people interesting.
      
      Some people are alive only because it is illegal to kill them.
      
      
      The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.
      
      
      Always be sincere ……even when you don't mean it
      
      Sleep: a completely inadequate substitute for caffeine.
      
      The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
      
      
      57 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-09-22-about-lifemanwomanworklove-/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-09-22-about-lifemanwomanworklove-/ Wed, 21 Sep 2011 18:38:53 MST http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-09-22-about-lifemanwomanworklove-/
      If life gives you lemons, stick them down your shirt and make your boobs look bigger.
      
      The last time I took advice, it only worked because I changed it.
      
      If a man tells a woman she's beautiful she'll overlook most of his other lies.
      
      
      I don't mind coming to work, but that eight hour wait to go home is a bitch!
      
      
      How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're o
      
      66 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-09-16-about-sadnesssuccesslifecanada/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-09-16-about-sadnesssuccesslifecanada/ Thu, 15 Sep 2011 19:06:33 MST http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-09-16-about-sadnesssuccesslifecanada/ When I am sad, I sing, and then the world is sad with me.
      
      If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.
      
      I swear to make no promises I cannot keep.
      
      If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny.
      
      Acupuncture is pointless.
      
      Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
      
      Wo
      
      62 Vote(s) ]]> http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-09-08-about-familylovecomputeralphabet-/ http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-09-08-about-familylovecomputeralphabet-/ Thu, 08 Sep 2011 00:18:08 MST http://www.funnysayings.us/funny-sayings/funny-sayings-2011-09-08-about-familylovecomputeralphabet-/
      
      The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common enemy.
      
      
      It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off.
      
      Love is a temporary insanity curable by marriage.
      
      Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.
      
      Who is General Failure and why is he reading my computer ha
      
      73 Vote(s) ]]>