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funny things a redneck would say 2010 02 p1

If you see an onion ring - answer it!

I just love the smell of cow dung in the morning. - - Dane Peddigrew


If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary form.

If rabbits feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?

If the Lord had meant us to fly, He would have given us aluminum skin.

If you lie to the computer, it will get you.
That's 'bout as dum as a bag '

funny things a redneck would say 2010 02 p2

She's as useful as a tit on a boar hog.

Don't you make me open a can o' whoop-ass on ya.

She's uglier than a bucket full of armpits. Bless her heart.

He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

He ain't but a fart in a wind storm.

Slicker than a harpooned hippo on a banana tree.

If everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane!

Don’t worry too

funny things a redneck would say 2010 02 p3

The light at the end of the tunnel is probably an oncoming train.

You can always tell a Texan, but you can never tell him very much.

You may be a redneck if . . . you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education. -- Jeff Foxworthy

He who laughs last probably doesn't understand the joke.

If the Lord had meant us to fly, He would have given us aluminum skin.

You couldn

funny positive life sayings 2010 02 p1

Even the smallest candle burns brighter in the dark.

Fortune truly helps those who are of good judgement.

You can have anything you want, if you will give up the belief, that you can't have it.- Robert Anthony

Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.

The person who sends out positive thoughts activates the world around him positively and draws back to

funny positive life sayings 2010 02 p2

I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet. ~Ancient Persian Saying

If you don't think every day is a good day, just try missing one. ~ Cavett Robert

Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed. ~Attributed to both Jonathan Swift and Benjamin Franklin

When you feel dog tired at night, it may be because you've growle

funny positive life sayings 2010 02 p3

We cannot direct the wind but we can adjust the sails.

When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.

You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.

It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

funny Sayings about Politics 2010 02 p1

"This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating."

"We need an energy bill that encourages consumption."

"...that's just the nature of democracy. Sometimes pure politics enters into the rhetoric."

"Any American who is prepared to run for President should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from every doing so." - Gore Vidal.

Be thankful we're not getting all the government

funny Sayings about Politics 2010 02 p2

'Here's my strategy on the Cold War: We win, they lose.' - Ronald Reagan

'The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.' -Ronald Reagan

'The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant; it's just that they know so much that isn't so.' - Ronald Reagan

'Of the four wars in my lifetime, none came about because


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