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funny Sayings for stupid occasion 2010 03 02 p2

Be different: conform.

If today is the first day of the rest of your life, what the hell was yesterday?

No matter where you go, there you are.

This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. If this had been an actual emergency, do you really think we'd stick around to tell you?

I couldn’t believe how many people it took to drag that poor beached whale back out to sea. Sure glad I h

funny Sayings for stupid occasion 2010 03 02 p3

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.

Hard work may not kill you, but why take chances?

About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.

funny southern sayings 2010 03 02 p4

He's so dumb, he could throw himself on the ground and miss.

You've got champagne taste with a beer pocketbook.

He squeezes a quarter so tight the eagle screams.

A true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in "Going to town, be back directly."

Never to assume that the other car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

Only a southerner knows t

funny southern sayings 2010 03 02 p3

If you don’t stop I'll knock you in the head and tell God you died.

You could start an argument in an empty house.

He'd gripe with a ham under each arm.

That boy’s more slippery than snot on a glass doorknob.

They’re off like a herd of turtles.

A true Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."

Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full o' rocking

funny southern sayings 2010 03 02 p2

In a coon's age. (been a long time)

Like two peas in a pod. (act and think alike)

That takes the cake. (surprised)

Well, shut my mouth. (shocked and speechless)

DO-HICKY- substitute name. Like the terms whata-ma-call-it or thinga-ma-jig

HOLD YOUR HORSES- (be patient)

MUCH OBLIGED- thank you; hope to return the favor

Go to bed with the chickens. (in bed early)

That's about

funny southern sayings 2010 03 02 p1

All well-raised Southern girls know it's far easier to get forgiveness than permission.
-- Virginia Darmer

A whistling woman and a crowing hen never comes to a very good end. (be who you are)

Barking up the wrong tree. (you are wrong)

Don't bite off more than you can chew. (attempt what you can accomplish)

Every dog should have a few feas. (no one is perfect)

I do declare. (usuall

funny sayings for silly occasions 2010 03 02 p2

Your Mama

Talk to the hand!

Let's just be friends.

"Mind your own beeswax"

"I have a frog in my throat"

"Man who farts in church, sits in his own pew."

"A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush."

funny sayings for silly occasions 2010 03 02 p1

Yo!

"Because I said so, that's why!"

"If you don't stop it, you'll go blind!".

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out!"

"Money burns a hole in your pocket."

"Making a mountain out of a molehill."

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away."

His bark is worse than his bite


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