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funny two and a half men sayings 2010 03 07 p3

"People who live in fat asses shouldn't throw waffles."
Charlie


Alan: "He's just a normal 11-year-old boy who happens to be grumpy."
Judith: "And I'm just a normal 35-year-old mother who happens to be running out of patience, and by patience I mean Prozac."
Alan: "Wait a minute, you can't still be 35."

funny seinfeld sayings 2010 03 07 p1

"Kramer goes to a fantasy camp. His whole life is a fantasy camp. People should plunk down two-thousand dollars to live like him for a week. Do nothing, fall ass-backwards into money, mooch food off your neighbors, and have sex without dating. That's a fantasy camp!"
George, "The Visa"

"You always have to know everything that's going on, don't you?"
Jerry to Kramer, "The Parking Spot"

"Ye

funny seinfeld sayings 2010 03 07 p2

"Um, excuse me, I... I think you forgot my bread."
"Bread, two dollars extra."
"Two dollars? But everyone in front of me got free bread."
"You want bread?"
"Yes please."
"Three dollars!
"What?"
"No soup for you!"
George and the Soup Nazi, "The Soup Nazi"

"I don't think I'm special. My mother always said I'm not special."
George, "The Good Samaritan"

"I'm much more comfortab

funny seinfeld sayings 2010 03 07 p3

"What? Was it something I said?"
"She's a virgin. She just told me."
"I didn't know."
"Well, it's not like spotting a toupee."
Elaine and Jerry, "The Virgin"


"Have you totally blocked out the entire time we were a couple?"
Elaine to Jerry, "The Stakeout"

"Are you close with your parents?" "Well, they gave birth to me and... yada yada yada..." "Yada what?" "Yada... yada... yad

funny sheldon sayings 2010 03 07 p1

Season 1, Episode 1 :

Well, today we tried masturbating for money.
Yes, it tells us that you participate in the mass cultural delusion that the sun’s apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality.
You did not "break up" with Joyce Kim. She defected to North Korea.


Season 1, Episode 2:
Ah gravity, thou a

funny sheldon sayings 2010 03 07 p2

Season 1, Episode 3:
At least now you can retrieve the black box from the twisted smoldering wreckage that was once your fantasy of dating her and analyze the data so that you don't crash into geek mountain again.

I think that you have as much of a chance of having a sexual relationship with Penny as the Hubble Telescope does of discovering at the center of every black hole is little man w

funny sheldon sayings 2010 03 07 p3

Season 1, Episode 4:
There wouldn't have been any ass kickings if that stupid death ray had worked.


Oh, I'm sorry. Did I insult you? Is your body mass somehow tied into your self worth?


Season 1, Episode 5:
Do you realize I may have to share a Nobel Prize with your booty call?
Of course I'm listening. Blah blah, hopeless Penny delusion, blah blah blah.


Season 1, Episode 7

funny sheldon sayings 2010 03 07 p4

Season 1, Episode 8:
Damn you, Walletnook.com.
I understand, but it was between you and the Museum of Natural History, and frankly, you don't have dinosaurs.

Season 1, Episode 9:
Forget your suit. Look at my arms flailing. I'm like a flamingo on Ritalin.
Well, there's always the possibility that a trash can spontaneously formed around the letter, but Occam's Razor would suggest that


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