My Site Home » Published News

funny sayings 2009 11 01

one of the main causes
of the fall of the Roman Empire was that,
lacking zero,
they had no way to indicate successful
termination of their C programs.

One of the greatest labor saving inventions of today is tomorrow.

The great question...
which I have not been able to answer...
is, `What does woman want?

A diplomat is man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never her

funny sayings 2009 11 02

The only difference in the game of love over the last few thousand years is that they've changed trumps from clubs to diamonds.

One cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs -- but it is amazing how many eggs one can break without making a decent omelette.

A small town is a place where there's no place to go where you shouldn't.

No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and di

funny sayings 2009 10 30

Women would rather be right than reasonable.

Woman was God's second mistake.

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster
than any other invention,
with the possible exceptions of handguns
and Tequilla.

Kill a man, and you are a murderer.
Kill millions of men, and you are a conqueror.
Kill everyone, and you are a god.

funny sayings 2009 10 29


Marriage is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important.

Never stand between a dog and the hydrant.

One has fear in front of a goat, in back of a mule, and on every side of a fool.

To cease smoking is the easiest thing. I ought to know. I've done it a thousand times.

funny sayings 2009 10 12 part II

A gas station is a place where you sometimes fill the car, but more often drain the kids.


Romance often begins by a splashing waterfall and ends over a leaky sink.

I want a man who's kind and understanding.
Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?


Do you know why they call it 'PMS'?
Because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken.



Always drink upstream from the herd.

funny sayings 2009 10 25

Go to bed with itchy butt, wake up with stinky finger.

oral sex is a good way to make a woman silent.

It depends on your definition of asleep. They were not stretched out. They had their eyes closed. They were seated at their desks with their heads in a nodding position.


Man has his will, - but woman has her way.

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

funny sayings 2009 10 12 part III

An alarm clock is a device that wakes you up just in time to go back to sleep.

Getting out of jury duty is easy.
The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.


Procrastination gives you something to look forward to.



I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

Marriage is like PI - natural, irrational, and very important.

funny sayings 2009 10 26

My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.

If you found yourself in a situation where you could either save a drowning man, or you could take a Pulitzer prize winning photograph of him drowning, what shutter speed and setting would you use?




Navigation

Login

Username:

Password:

Remember:

Don't have an account?
Register here

Categories