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funny sayings for valentines 2010 03 08 p2

I love you more than anything... chocolate, t-bone steak, red wine. I will give these up just to have more of you.


There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved. - George Sand

Oh, if it be to choose and call thee mine, love, thou art every day my Valentine! - Thomas Hood

I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the la

funny sayings for valentines 2010 03 08 p1

Valentine’s Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.

You don’t love a woman because she is beautiful, she is beautiful because you love her.

You are the reason why I'm smiling everyday. You make the world beautiful for me.

Love is like wildflowers...it is often found in the most unlikely places.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and

funny two and a half men sayings 2010 03 07 p1

"Why don't you make like a hockey player, and get the puck out of here."
Charlie

"Getting hurt is like boys' jobs. Last summer Jake actually fractured his ass doing a cannonball into the bathtub."
Alan

"Back off, Mary Poppins."
Sean Penn

"Bought some hamburgers, Bought the hats; ate the hamburgers, wearing the hats."
Charlie

funny two and a half men sayings 2010 03 07 p2

"I'll admit you're kookie Judith. But compared to our mother you're like a fart in a hurricane."
Charlie

"Does your penis have an off switch?"
Alan, to Charlie


"Secret elixir, huh? Well, I'm usually more of a bourbon guy but when push comes to shove I don't know what the hell's in that either."
Charlie

funny two and a half men sayings 2010 03 07 p3

"People who live in fat asses shouldn't throw waffles."
Charlie


Alan: "He's just a normal 11-year-old boy who happens to be grumpy."
Judith: "And I'm just a normal 35-year-old mother who happens to be running out of patience, and by patience I mean Prozac."
Alan: "Wait a minute, you can't still be 35."

funny seinfeld sayings 2010 03 07 p1

"Kramer goes to a fantasy camp. His whole life is a fantasy camp. People should plunk down two-thousand dollars to live like him for a week. Do nothing, fall ass-backwards into money, mooch food off your neighbors, and have sex without dating. That's a fantasy camp!"
George, "The Visa"

"You always have to know everything that's going on, don't you?"
Jerry to Kramer, "The Parking Spot"

"Ye

funny seinfeld sayings 2010 03 07 p2

"Um, excuse me, I... I think you forgot my bread."
"Bread, two dollars extra."
"Two dollars? But everyone in front of me got free bread."
"You want bread?"
"Yes please."
"Three dollars!
"What?"
"No soup for you!"
George and the Soup Nazi, "The Soup Nazi"

"I don't think I'm special. My mother always said I'm not special."
George, "The Good Samaritan"

"I'm much more comfortab

funny seinfeld sayings 2010 03 07 p3

"What? Was it something I said?"
"She's a virgin. She just told me."
"I didn't know."
"Well, it's not like spotting a toupee."
Elaine and Jerry, "The Virgin"


"Have you totally blocked out the entire time we were a couple?"
Elaine to Jerry, "The Stakeout"

"Are you close with your parents?" "Well, they gave birth to me and... yada yada yada..." "Yada what?" "Yada... yada... yad


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