funnysayings.us » funny sayings

funny facebook sayings 2010 05 20 p13


Now, I don’t see color. People tell me I’m white and I believe them because police officers call me “sir”.



We declared war on terror—it’s not even a noun, so, good luck.

I’m at the age where I want two girls. In case I fall asleep they will have someone to talk to.

A girl phoned me and said, “Come on over. There’s nobody home.” I went over. Nobody was home!


Everything that use

funny facebook sayings 2010 05 20 p1

The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.


The man who doesn’t read good books has no advantage over the man who can’t read them.

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”


No one ever teaches well

funny facebook sayings 2010 05 20 p2


Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.



Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of i

funny facebook sayings 2010 05 20 p3


“You won’t be able to take your eyes off the next four presenters: Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz.”
Chris Rock while hosting the Oscars

Gas is getting so expensive I’m gonna ride a mexican to work.

If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor.

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

Cour

funny facebook sayings 2010 05 20 p4


In the beginning was nonsense, and the nonsense was with God, and the nonsense was God.

A casual stroll through a lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.


One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.



A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.



The

funny sayings for movie 2010 05 19 p1


It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.
--Dan Aykroyd (The Blues Brothers)



"I can't believe you two had sex in her dream."
"I'm sorry, it was a one time thing. I was very drunk and it was somebody else's subconscious."
- Ross and Chandler in The One With the Ick Factor


"What are you doing?"

funny sayings for movie 2010 05 19 p2


You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly!
--Eddie Murphy (Shrek)


"Hey, you guys in the living room all know what you want to do. You know, you have goals. You have dreams. I don't have a dream."
"Ah, the lesser-known 'I don't have a dream' speech."
- Chandler and Ross in The One With the Stoned Guy


Assyrian Proverb
He who

funny sayings for movie 2010 05 19 p3


I've got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

Groucho Marx (Duck Soup)


"What the hell does a paleontologist need a beeper for?"
"Is it, like, for dinosaur emergencies? 'Help! Come quick, they're still extinct!'"
- Joey and Monica in The One With the Ick Factor


Elaine Richards

While I am not a fan of corporal punishment, I am not a fan of his friends

funny sayings for movie 2010 05 19 p4


All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work.

Steve Martin (Bilko)


"Your tombstone can say whatever you want it to say. It could say, 'Ross Geller, Good at Marriage!' Y'know? Mine's gonna say, 'Phoebe Buffay, Buried Alive.'"
- Phoebe in The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel


Ancient Simian Proverb

What one fool can do, another can.



Judith Pugh

Mothe

funny sayings for movie 2010 05 19 p5



Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic and so am I.

Bill Murray (What about Bob)



"Some girl ate Monica!!!"
"Shut up! The camera adds 10 pounds."
"Oh. So how many cameras are actually on you?"
- Joey, Monica and Chandler in The One With the Prom Video



"Ross, have you ever been beaten up before?"
"Yeah, sure."
"By someone besides Monica?"
- Joey and Ro

funny sayings for movie 2010 05 19 p6


You might be a cunning linguist, but I am a master debater. Mike Myers

(Austin Powers: Goldmember)

You know what the trouble about real life is? There's no danger music

Jim Carrey


Kobayashi: One cannot be betrayed if one has no people.

The Usual Suspects

Mrs. White: Husbands should be like Kleenex: soft, strong, and disposable.

Clue



"Aw, Phebes."
"Honey, that's y

funny sayings for movie 2010 05 19 p7


Forrest Gump: (referring to Apple Computers) He got me invested in some kinda fruit company.

Forrest Gump


"Okay, man, I didn't want to bring this up, but Chandler is the stupidest name I've ever heard in my whole life! It's not even a name! It's barely even a word. It's kind of like 'chandelier,' but it's not. It's a stupid, stupid, non-name."
- Joey in The One With Rachel's New Dress


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