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funny sayings 2010 09 27

~ “A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments, soccer games, romances, best friends, location of friend’s houses, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.” —Unknown

~ he ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.


~ “Mobile phones are the only subject on which men boast abo

funny sayings 2010 09 19

If you think about it long enough, you’ll see that it’s obvious.

If you can’t remember, the claymore is pointed towards you.


Examine what is said, not who speaks.


Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.


Did you just fart?? …Because you blew me away!

Rainbows are just to look at, not to really understand.

When they bought a water bed, the couple started to

funny sayings 2010 09 15

today's funny picture:



What does ORLY mean?
Oh really?

today's funny sayings:


~ Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?

~ The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?

~ Only a seven-year-old can actually taste the difference. When I was a kid, I could

funny tv sayings 2010 09 13



Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it.


My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too.

Television has made dictatorship impossible, but democracy unbearable.


=============funny tv sayings 2010======================

I cannot sing, dance or act - w

funny friend sayings 2010 08 30

===========================funny friend sayings========

You're a 24-year old man who wants to keep his 66-year old girlfriend from leaving.

Do you C) slam the door on her hand,
hit her on the head with pillows,
twist her nose,
and force her to kiss a picture of her dead husband?

===========================funny friend sayings========

We can now add "Doctors start to fight" to

funny children sayings 2010 08 27


====================funny children sayings======================

Fun idea:
Not got kids?
Hire a babysitter anyway,
say kid is asleep upstairs and not to be woken.
On your return ask where your child is.


====================funny children sayings======================

funny sayings 2010 08 25

------------------------------------funny sayings ------------------------------------------

If you need advice, text me...
If you need a frind, call me...
If you need me, come to me...
If you need money,
THE SUBSCRIBER CANNOT BE REACHED! PLEASE TRY AGAIN LATER.

---------------------------------funny sayings --------------------------------------------

Man: What is a million years

funny facebook sayings 2010 08 04


If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.


I like kids, but I don’t think I could eat a whole one.


I wouldn’t be caught dead with a necrophiliac.


Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.


A closed mouth gathers no foot.


I used to be schizophrenic, but we’re all right now.


You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes. You will learn a lot today.


end of fu

funny dog sayings 2010 07 27


What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight; it's the size of the fight in the dog. ~Dwight D. Eisenhower

I bought a dog the other day...I named him Stay. It's fun to call him...'Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!' He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing. He's an East German Shepherd. ~Steven Wright


Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend. ~Co

funny sayings 2010 07 19

Artificial Intelligence: The other guy's opinion.

Radioactive halibut will make fission chips.

Hi, my name is John, and I'm a closet lurker.

If you take the plunge, return it by Tuesday.

I'm so poor, I can't even pay attention!

I think, therefore I am overqualified.

Marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries.

funny sayings 2010 07 14


It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose it,
but it’s also true that we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives.

An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way
in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault.

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like
shoveling the drive before it has stopped s

funny sayings 2010 07 12

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three. ~Elayne Boosler


The most important thing is not to stop questioning. - Albert Einstein

Do not worry if others do not understand you. Instead worry if you do not understand others. -----Confucius

You are a ti


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