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funny sayings 2013 12 03

  • If one night a big fat man jumps in your window grabs you and puts you in a sack, don't worry. I told santa I wanted you for Christmas.
  • Diapers and politicians should be changed often both for the same reason.
  • Sometimes one middle finger isn't enough to let someone know how you feel. That's why you have two hands.
  • Dear people who update their Facebo

funny sayings 2013 12 02

  • If you try to watch the movie Titanic's actually about a magical boat that saves people.
  • Dear Santa, what I want for Christmas is... your list with names of naughty girls.
  • The awkward moment, when Usain Bolt runs faster than your internet connection.
  • My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look I came

funny sayings 2013 11 29

  • Save the earth, it's the only planet with chocolate.
  • 25 things you may not know about me.. 37) I don't know how to count.
  • Once in a lifetime, Hanukkah meets thanksgiving, THANKSGIVUKKAH. November 28,2013.
  • Happy Hanukkah to a Jew who celebrates Christmas...
  • My Hanukkah wish is to be in a relationship that lasts longer than eight days.

funny sayings 2013 11 27

  • The only thing that could stop me from taking selfies is a photo of what I look like taking selfies.
  • Grammar is important! Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your Uncle jack off a horse.
  • The awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.
  • If a Police Officer says, Anything you say will be t

funny sayings 2013 11 25

  • Every time you make a typo, the errorists win.
  • Home is where the WIFI connects automatically.
  • What matters most in life are quotes and stuff that tell you what life is really about.
  • Women are like internet viruses they enter your life, scan your pocket, edit your mind, download their problems, delete your smile...
  • end of funny sayings 201

funny sayings 2013 11 22

  • Being a guy after sex is like transforming back from being a werewolf. "Why am I so tired... and naked.."
  • After almost 5 years, I just received full and final confirmation, and can now have this conversation...
  • Stranger: hi, what's you name? me: Stephen. Stranger: oh, is that Stephen with a 'ph'? me: actually it's Stephen with a PhD. totally worth it.

funny sayings 2013 11 20

  • When Geeks have kids: Bad news: there is only one heart, so we are definitely not having a Time Lord. Good news: we are having a healthy little girl!
  • Vehicle Accident: Women Drivers, Rain, Obama Care.
  • I try to be open-minded. I respect people of diverse backgrounds and faiths. I know that people might have different political viewpoints than I do, and it doesn't

funny sayings 2013 11 18

  • So I need som advice, I have a 4 inch body life on my truck and 2 days ago my truck started to shake once I started going faster than 70 and I think it's the suspension or my tires are unbalanced and since the girls are no longs paying attention to this post does anybody know of any good free porn sites?

  • My career plans were much more exciting when I was five.

  • Forgetting t
  • funny sayings 2013 11 15

    • I'm a bassist, but I lie to people and tell them that I play guitar. Because explaining the difference between a bass and a guitar got too annoying.
    • Weird is a side effect of awesome.
    • What if I told you that there are other scientists besides Carl Sagan and Bill Nye.
    • Laid a bedsheet down before playing lego, five second cleanup.
    • end

    funny sayings 2013 11 13

    • I will not turn my clock back, I will be living one hour in the future. I greet you, the People of the Past.
    • Bacteria: the only culture some people have.
    • My bank is the worst. They're charging me money for not having enough money in my account. Apparently, I can't even afford to be broke.
    • No I didnt trip The floor looked like it needed a hug.

    funny sayings 2013 11 11

    funny sayings 2013 11 11
    • How to kiss a boy: 1 grab his waist. 2) slip your hand in his pocket. 3) steal his wallet. 4) dont even kiss him. 5) just run.
    • Waking up early is like playing life on "EXPERT" difficulty.
    • I'm searching Facebook for people named Hontas, just because I think it would be cool... to poke a Hontas.
    • Women are like police, they can have a

    funny sayings 2013 11 08

    • I'm bisexual, when I stick my hands down someone's pants I am always pleased with the result...
    • Rule of Math: If it seems easy, you're doing it wrong.
    • A: How did people know what roads to take before google maps was made? B: They used maps. A: I said before google maps.
    • Children in the dark cause accidents, accidents in the dark cause children.

    funny sayings 2013 11 06

    • Mad Science: if God don't want us to magnetize kittens, he wouldn't have given us kittens and magnets.
    • Looking for someone who likes to take romantic walks... to the bridge... to get another beer.
    • I'm belatedly realizing that all the guy in the laundry room heard from my phone conversation with my boss regarding the location of a patient's X-rays was "She was in


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