funny sayings

• The only problem with golf is that the slow people are always in front of you and the fast people always end up behind you.
• Golf was invented by wives to get their husbands out of the house on cleaning day.
• It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.
• My worst day at golf still beat

• Do you believe in love at first sight? Or do I have to walk by again???
• Don’t try to understand a girl completely. If you do, then either you will go mad… or you will start loving her..
• Shopping is better than sex. At least if you're not satisfied, you can exchange it for something you really like.
• I just want to be with you twice: now and forever

• A Beer is always wet, a woman is not !
• Beer is horrible, when it is hot !
• If you come back home smelling beer, your wife can get angry at you. If you come back home smelling women, your wife will get angry for sure and she might even not talk to you again !
• 10 beers in a night and then you can't drive. 10 women in one night and you don't have to dri

Here is some funny sayings I collected :

• How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
• A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
• I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers i

Well, it is July, and it is still HOT. Here is some funny sayings I collected :

• Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
• I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian
• Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
• We never

Well, it is July, and it is HOT. Here is some funny sayings I collected :

• Some people say "If you can't beat them, join them". I say "If you can't beat them, beat them", because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.
• You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
• Never get

• (Front Bumper) If you can read this, I didn't hit you hard enough.
• I'm not a blonde!! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot!
• Sure, there's no "I" in team, but there is an "M" and an "E"
• After working here, I now realize that "Dilbert" is not a comic strip. It's a documentary
• Girls are like phones, they like to be held and talked to but

• If money doesn't grow on trees, how come banks have branches?
• Man putting penis into peanutbutter is fucking nuts!!
• Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
• The reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
• Roses are red, Bullets are lead, you better love me, or i'll shoot you in the head

funny msn status 2012 06 08

• One time, I had insomnia, so I went to take some sleeping pills, but I didn't want to wake them up.
• Two hats on a rack, one says to another, "You stay here, I'll go on ahead.
• Womens faults are many, while men have only two. Everything they say and everything they do.
• If a person has sex with a prostitute while she

The following is a collection of funny witty sayings which I enjoy a lot. Hope you find them funny.

• It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
• A drunk is in front of a judge. The judge says, 'You've been brought here for drinking.' The drunk says, 'Okay, let's get started.'
• You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They

Here are some funny math sayings whick I like a lot.

• Small minds discuss persons. Average minds discuss events. Great minds discuss ideas. Really great minds discuss mathematics.
• Relations between pure and applied mathematicians are based on trust and understanding. Namely, pure mathematicians do not trust applied mathematicians, and applied mathematicians do not underst

Here are some funny computer sayings whick I like a lot.

• Artificial Intelligence usually beats natural stupidity.
• Like car accidents, most hardware problems are due to driver error.
• Programmers are tools for converting caffeine into code.
• "See daddy ? All the keys are in alphabetical order now."
• My software never has bugs. It just devel