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funny sayings 2013 11 27

  • The only thing that could stop me from taking selfies is a photo of what I look like taking selfies.
  • Grammar is important! Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your Uncle jack off a horse.
  • The awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.
  • If a Police Officer says, Anything you say will be t

funny sayings 2013 11 25

  • Every time you make a typo, the errorists win.
  • Home is where the WIFI connects automatically.
  • What matters most in life are quotes and stuff that tell you what life is really about.
  • Women are like internet viruses they enter your life, scan your pocket, edit your mind, download their problems, delete your smile...
  • end of funny sayings 201

funny sayings 2013 11 22

  • Being a guy after sex is like transforming back from being a werewolf. "Why am I so tired... and naked.."
  • After almost 5 years, I just received full and final confirmation, and can now have this conversation...
  • Stranger: hi, what's you name? me: Stephen. Stranger: oh, is that Stephen with a 'ph'? me: actually it's Stephen with a PhD. totally worth it.

funny sayings 2013 11 20

  • When Geeks have kids: Bad news: there is only one heart, so we are definitely not having a Time Lord. Good news: we are having a healthy little girl!
  • Vehicle Accident: Women Drivers, Rain, Obama Care.
  • I try to be open-minded. I respect people of diverse backgrounds and faiths. I know that people might have different political viewpoints than I do, and it doesn't

funny sayings 2013 11 18

  • So I need som advice, I have a 4 inch body life on my truck and 2 days ago my truck started to shake once I started going faster than 70 and I think it's the suspension or my tires are unbalanced and since the girls are no longs paying attention to this post does anybody know of any good free porn sites?

  • My career plans were much more exciting when I was five.

  • Forgetting t
  • funny sayings 2013 11 15

    • I'm a bassist, but I lie to people and tell them that I play guitar. Because explaining the difference between a bass and a guitar got too annoying.
    • Weird is a side effect of awesome.
    • What if I told you that there are other scientists besides Carl Sagan and Bill Nye.
    • Laid a bedsheet down before playing lego, five second cleanup.
    • end

    funny sayings 2013 11 13

    • I will not turn my clock back, I will be living one hour in the future. I greet you, the People of the Past.
    • Bacteria: the only culture some people have.
    • My bank is the worst. They're charging me money for not having enough money in my account. Apparently, I can't even afford to be broke.
    • No I didnt trip The floor looked like it needed a hug.

    funny sayings 2013 11 11

    funny sayings 2013 11 11
    • How to kiss a boy: 1 grab his waist. 2) slip your hand in his pocket. 3) steal his wallet. 4) dont even kiss him. 5) just run.
    • Waking up early is like playing life on "EXPERT" difficulty.
    • I'm searching Facebook for people named Hontas, just because I think it would be cool... to poke a Hontas.
    • Women are like police, they can have a

    funny sayings 2013 11 08

    • I'm bisexual, when I stick my hands down someone's pants I am always pleased with the result...
    • Rule of Math: If it seems easy, you're doing it wrong.
    • A: How did people know what roads to take before google maps was made? B: They used maps. A: I said before google maps.
    • Children in the dark cause accidents, accidents in the dark cause children.

    funny sayings 2013 11 06

    • Mad Science: if God don't want us to magnetize kittens, he wouldn't have given us kittens and magnets.
    • Looking for someone who likes to take romantic walks... to the bridge... to get another beer.
    • I'm belatedly realizing that all the guy in the laundry room heard from my phone conversation with my boss regarding the location of a patient's X-rays was "She was in

    funny sayings 2013 11 04

    • Walking away to hide your boner, just manly things.
    • Made girlfriend guess what my suprise for her was, all of her wrong guesses are new surprise ideas for the future.
    • Well behaved children welcome, the rest will be made into pies.
    • Seeing a spider is nothing. It becomes a problem when it disappears.
    • Congratulations!! You are the 100th per

    funny sayings 2013 11 01

    • I know I've become an adult because when I'm on xbox live, instead of being called a gay 12 year old girl, I'm called a fat pedofile. I play for the self esteem boost.
    • My wife always complains that I dont take her anywhere expensive... so I took her to the Gas Station.
    • If people could read my mind, I'd get punched in the face a lot.
    • I hate weddings.

    funny sayings 2013 10 30

    • I got bored at work today, so I started working to help pass the time.
    • Asked my 2 year old what her fav part of today's Halloween party was and she pointed at thin air and said, "that ghost". May move house.
    • Dad comes home from work, my brother and I are playing the NES in our bedroom. He pops his head in, "Hello boys. Just playing your Seven-Eight-Don't?" We loo


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