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funny sayings 2010 05 09 p13


Psychiatry is the care of the id by the od.

A vaccum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature replaces it with.


Golf is a good walk spoiled.

Do not take life too seriously; you will never get out of it alive.


When money speaks, the truth keeps silent.

Money never made a man happy yet, nor will it. There is nothing in its nature to produce happiness. The

funny sayings 2010 05 09 p14


In all the controversies over what the causes of diversities might be, no one seem to have paid much attention to the factor in the environment that has the most obvious effect on any organism: food.

The Driving Force: Food in Evolution and the Future

To eat is a necessity, but to eat intelligently is an art.

Better a good dinner than a fine coat.

One should eat to live, not live to

funny sayings 2010 05 09 p15


Love your neighbor; yet don’t pull down your hedge.

If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.


Always forgive your enemies -- nothing annoys them so much.

Wit is educated insolence.

The belly is the giver of genius.

Eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

A hungry stomach rarely despises common food.

There are some rem

funny sayings 2010 05 09 p16



If they could figure out a way to channel my anger, they could solve the energy crisis.

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up bcause by that time I was too famous.

Providence protects children and idiots. I know because I have tested it.


Simple diet is best; for many dishes bring many diseases: and rich sauces are worse tha

funny sayings 2010 05 09 p1


I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

Tis not knowing much, but what is useful, that makes a wise man.

Since I gave up hope, I feel much better.

When people agree with me I always

funny sayings 2010 05 09 p17


The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.

A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.

If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and the impersonators would be dead.

He that takes medicine and neglects diet, wastes the skill of the physician.

Stomach: A slave that must accept everything that is given to it, but which

funny sayings 2010 05 09 p2


Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family.

There are terrible temptations which it requires strength and courage to yield to.

Anyone who can only think of only one way to spell a word obviously lacks imagination.

Some people are like Slinkies... Not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

Nev

funny sayings 2010 05 09 p18


I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.

If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it -
Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers!

As I ramble through life, whatever be my goal, I will unfortunately keep my eye upon the doughnut and not upon the whole.

There is no love sincerer than the love of food.

To

funny sayings 2010 05 09 p3


Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Anyone who is considered funny will tell you, sometimes without even your asking, that deep inside they are very serious, neurotic, introspective people.

All modern men are descended from wormlike creatures, but it shows more on some people.

Three may keep a secret if two are dead.

The world is full of willing people;

funny sayings 2010 05 09 p19


You can't force anyone to love you or lend you money.

Money isn't everything--but it's a long way ahead of what comes next.


We never repent of having eaten too little.

Common sense is in medicine the master workman.


The human body is made up of some four hundred muscles; evolved through centuries of physical activity. Unless these are used, they will deteriorate.

Health i

funny sayings 2010 05 09 p4


Hey, the way I figure it is this: if the kids are still alive by the time my husband comes home, I've done my job.

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.


All progress is based upon a universal, innate desire on the part of every organism to live beyond its income.

Economy is half the battle of life; it is not s

funny sayings 2010 05 09 p20


Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.


If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come and sit next to me.


The struggles of the men who built the first railroads were as those of Titans, and the detail of their struggles is even now almost lost in Titanic mists.


Give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with food convenient for me.


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