funny sayings

collection of humorous funny sayings of this week:

• If I ever get to become a professor of anything math related, I will sometime make an exam in which all the answers are 42. This way I get to see my students freak out like hell and at the same time make it true that 42 is the answer to everything. I get to kill two birds with one stone.
• I saw some girl texting and driving

• If someday we all go to prison for downloading music, I just hope they split us by the music genre.
• True friends won't pick rainbow road in Mario Kart.
• Good friends don't let you do stupid things ... alone.
• Nowadays people know the price of everything and the value of nothing.
• I stopped fighting my inner demons. We are on the same side n

• When a woman is pregnant, all of her friends come up to her, touch her belly and say "Congrats." However no one goes up to the guy, touches his penis and says "Job well done." Moral of the story. Hard work is never appreciated, only results matter.
• When my mother was pregnant with me she got busted for possession of life with intent to distribute.
• You got

• If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I'd just laugh and search with them.
• The truth I have learned: Gets 90/100 in computers, can't even switch on it properly. Gets 40/100 in computers, knows how to hack FBI's official site.
• I think on December 21 all the power companies should just shut off the power for like 10 minutes to make people fl

• 24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ... coincidence? I think not.
• If life gives you lemons, throw them at some one!
• I hope life is not a joke, because I don't get it.
• Sure, there's no "I" in team, but there is an "M" and an "E".
• I don't have a dirty mind, what I have is a sexy imagination.
• Next time a stranger talks to me

• I didn't choose the thug life, the thug life chose me.
• If somebody ever asks you to do something, do it really bad so you never have to do it again.
• The difference between fiction and life? Fiction has to make sense.
• The golden rule of work is that the bosses jokes are ALWAYS funny.
• God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck

• Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out of it alive.
• Remember the past, plan for the future, but live for today, because yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come.
• Pain never really goes away; you just elevate and get used to it by growing stronger.
• 3 Jobs that changed the world: Hand, Blow and Steve.
• Life is not so bad

• We're friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You jump off a bridge, I get on my boat and save your retarded ass.
• Stupid autocorrect, you always end up posting some thong you didn't Nintendo.
• Shopping with your husband is like hunting with the game warden.
• You hide crazy like a bikini hides an extra 45 pounds.
• You can tell a lot a

• Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.
• After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say - I want to see the manager.
• We are born wet, naked, and hungry. Then things get worse.
• Life is rather like a tin of sardines - we're all of us looking for the key.
• A perfect method of adding drama to life

Hey guys, I am back from Beijing China and will give you some funny life sayings.

• I am a college professor, you need to ask someone else if you want advice about the real world (life).
• Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we should dance.
• Life is designed to kick your ass.
• Enjoy life, there's plenty of time to be dead.

• Life is like an onion. Why is life like an onion? Because you peel away layer after layer and when you come to the end you have nothing.
• Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
• If you are going through hell, keep going.
• A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinkin

Fishing is the activity of trying to catch fish. Fish are normally caught in the wild. Techniques for catching fish include hand gathering, spearing, netting, angling and trapping. Do you like fishing? Here are some funny sayings about fishing which I collected in these days, Hope you find them entertaining.

• There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the sho