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funny sayings 2010 05 22 p25


My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.
Emo Philips

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
Mitch Hedberg

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.
Spike Milligan


Oh, the tiger will love you. There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
George Bernard Shaw


The consumer isn't a moron; she is your wife.
David Ogilvy

We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect.
Alanis Morissette

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
George Carlin


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